It's 4:35 a.m., and I'm sitting in my living room, listening to our dog struggle mightily to take in enough oxygen to keep her little body alive. My husband & I were in bed, with Poogan at our feet making the same brave attempts to breathe, taking turns lying down beside her and in our regular positions in bed. As we lay there with our heads next to hers, petting on her, my husband posed an interesting idea, one that some might find painful. The idea was simply this: Might Poogan be more comfortable downstairs, instead of on the bed? We made the decision to go downstairs. We put Poogan in the floor, in the spot where she loves to lie, and we went to the sofa to camp. She's moved about downstairs as she wishes, and, not surprisingly, she's not stayed with us for more than a couple of minutes.
This was so hard for us to do. As human pet owners, with human emotions and attachments, we want to be there with our pets for every one of their last moments. But do they want us there? We like to think that, yes, they are put at ease by having us there, but I actually think the opposite might be true. I think having us there, hovering, doting, worrying, only adds to any anxiety they may be feeling. They are dogs, and dogs are not humans. We share some of the same emotions, yes, but not our attitudes of death.
Think of how dogs choose to die, if given the choice. Alone. Away from their pack. Even domestic dogs do this. I grew up with animals, and I could never understand my parent's gentle but mysterious explanations when a dog "went off to die." But I've always known that they do. And yet, in a dog's final moments, we still want to "be there for her (or him)." In times of grief, rational thought need not apply.
When I die, I do, indeed, want my "pack" around me. I don't think I want to be alone. But, then, I'm only human.
I hope you know how tight a hug I'd give you.
K
Posted by: Kelly | January 26, 2009 at 07:49 PM
It's as if they don't want us to worry. And we want to be there for our own emotional process.
/hug
Tj
Posted by: tj | January 27, 2009 at 11:56 AM
I just watched the movie Marley and Me. It's about a couple that got a dog and the dog grew up as part of their family for many years. It was heartfelt and beautiful even though the dog was sort of troublesome. They were his family and through all the tough times he was truly loved. I don't have a dog, but I do understand your pain and your sentiments.
Posted by: Ajlouny | May 24, 2009 at 05:34 PM
informative and a good post, good job!
Posted by: stop dreaming start action | July 18, 2009 at 07:35 PM
Good work,thanks for sharing this information!!!
Posted by: Generic Viagra | July 22, 2009 at 06:33 PM
i'm sorry to hear about your dog. =( hope you're doing ok. i know its easier said than done and it's not easy the first few weeks / months.
Posted by: dog insurance | January 07, 2010 at 07:50 AM
Your story took me back to the time my wife and I lost our pet. The vet told us that animals, like dogs and cats, hide their injuries and their pain and that often we do not know how bad things are until it is too late. And yes, they seem to like to be alone when they about to pass away. He was in pain and the vet told us it was more humane to let him go to sleep. We said our goodbyes and let him go. But it can be very different with people. Often being there with them at the end is the best gift we can give them. And whether it is an animal we love or a person we keep them in our hearts forever.
Posted by: cancer lawyer | January 21, 2010 at 07:30 PM
I really liked your page is very good and gives me a lot of information is the only web site and seen that it is complete across the network and searched and bucado and could not find another like me not in accordance with information from other Web sites look for one with more information and found it very complete congratulate
Posted by: costa rica hotels | June 13, 2010 at 05:44 PM
Sad story, it must have been a difficult choice, but I'm sure you did the right thing.
Posted by: Conservation Jobs | April 12, 2011 at 12:15 PM
My life has always been surrounded by dogs, so I have experienced many deaths. I agree that dogs seem to want to die alone, but I doubt I will ever be able to allow that if at all possible. I need to be there when they let go, for my benefit and to be able to say "good-bye". Maybe it's selfish, but my dogs are my life and I guess by being there at the end I want to somehow convey to them how very much they are loved and will be missed.
Posted by: Karbicyclepettrailer | April 29, 2011 at 10:53 AM
It's a traumatic experience when a loved and long cared for pet dies. We lost Bruce our retired police dog when I was just a child. I cried forever (or what seemed like forever). I've heard that elephants also leave the herd to die. No one really knows why, perhaps it's to leave fond memories rather than sad ones.
Paul.
Posted by: nikon 55-300mm | May 05, 2011 at 05:41 PM
I used to raise a pair of parrots, they are so lovely and harmony usually give each other sweet kiss. As well as human, they have emotion and the rights to live. They also need us to pay attention and love.Gps tracking
Posted by: xm sherry | May 27, 2011 at 11:07 PM
This was very helpful to me. My dog passed away May 28. I took him to the vet and they were going to try some new meds and told me they wanted to observe him for 2 hours. They told me to leave a number and they would call me. I only left for a few minutes when he died.
I have such sorrow that I wasn't there. But then somewhere deep down I thought...he left when he wanted and he didn't want me there
I hope that is the case, that would comfort me for not being there when he died.
Posted by: Michele | June 07, 2011 at 04:33 PM
Thank you so much for this article. My beloved husky, Kobe died yesterday. He had hemolytic anemia. I noticed several times Saturday night he wanted to go outside but it was raining and since he hates rain, he would not leave. when we got home from church the next day, he had died in his favorite spot in the foyer. I felt so guilty because I wanted to be with him. Thank you so much...
Posted by: Francine | June 13, 2011 at 01:41 PM
How sad ;(
Check out my site! www.insuranceautotexas.com
Posted by: Texas Insurance | August 25, 2011 at 12:26 PM
I noticed something similar with my dog too! She always went off in the wood when she was sick and we would go find her, worried, and bring her back. I wanted to be with her too, but eventually we let her go and do her thing
S.S.H
Posted by: Shelby | October 04, 2011 at 10:20 AM
Your story reminds me of my pet who passed away a few years back. When we took him to the local vet they told us that he had no chance of surviving. We wanted him to live longer but knew that nothing could be done.
The doctor asked us to leave the dog in the clinic as it would be more painful for people to see him die at home.
With heavy heart we had to leave the pet at the clinic.
Just wish that I could be there with him for some more time.
Posted by: Royal Canin Coupons | October 12, 2011 at 08:50 AM
You are right. We all want to be there when our pet finally passes away, but as you said I think they do want to be alone and not around us. I have an 11 year Lab that I know she probably or hopefully has a couple more years. I know I will want to be with her the hole time.
Posted by: Cathy Forcier | November 20, 2011 at 07:40 AM