Scientists have discovered that two pathways exist in the human brain to the final destination of a decision. One is the limbic system, which controls emotional decision-making, along with other "gut reaction" activities, like the fight-or-flight response; the other, the parietal and frontal cortices, which are in charge of planning and rational decision making, among other things.
In the above mentioned study, normally-functioning people were found to have both pathways, and that even they were torn (as shown by brain activity via MRI) between a choice involving some sort of immediate gratification and one involving a more logical one which would provide an even greater reward after a short waiting period (in the study, somewhere between a month and six weeks). Using my admittedly limited scientific knowledge and my slightly more efficient common sense, I've come up with a reason for Youngest's inability to make even the easiest of "right" or "good" decisions, if not a way to combat my extreme anger and frustration regarding those decisions.
I posit that, because a bipolar person's limbic system activity is often elevated and his/her fronal lobe regional activity is suppressed/delayed/otherwise fucked up, this makes their ability to make rational decisions very, very difficult, to say the least. Further, as Youngest is only just now reaching some semblance of adolescence, the cerebral fibers in his frontal lobe are still not finished developing. So, in layman's terms, his brain's road to a crappy decision is wider and well-paved, while the road to a good decision is a one-lane dirt country lane.
Last night, one such decision-making session played itself out in a fashion equally fascinating and frustrating. For a couple of weeks now, Youngest's best friend (BF) at school and Youngest have been planning for Youngest to go home with BF after their early release day this upcoming Friday. It's a bigger deal than most trips to a friend's house, because BF lives an hour away, so these trips are pretty infrequent. As personal hygiene is currently low decision on the totem pole, we've been using this trip to BF's to encourage showers. His decision to take a shower or not on school nights will directly be tied to his ability to go to BF's; more, if he chooses to miss a shower, he will have to explain his decision to BF all on his own. Until last night, he'd been doing fine. (I suspect his not having to shower on the weekend further lowered his motivation to actually get back up on that horse.)
Despite my trying to get him to shower earlier than usual, to combat the particular situation that occurred, and despite the fact that he was happily awake up until the very point of decision-making, he decided he was "too sleepy" to take his shower. He was not too sleepy to argue with me in huge, convoluted circles, mind you, but four fucking minutes in the shower was too much to ask. We tried every bit of logic and every bit of emotional impetus imaginable, but nothing was budging him. His limbic system just wanted to lay in that bed and not do a damn thing if it wasn't fun. His frontal lobe was on the picket line... "Hell no! I won't go!" Eventually, I sat on his bed and told him that since he couldn't seem to make this decision, and that BF was that important to me if not to him, I would sit and talk enough that he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. After letting us know exactly how much he hated us for trying to sabotage his friendship with BF (WTF?!!? Delusional, table for one!), he took his shower. He spewed vitriol for about 10-15 more minutes before passing out mid-sentence. Ahhh, the fun-filled roller-coaster ride of bipolar disorder.
Oh Lori, my heart is just breaking for you. I can't imagine the patience and dedication you're having to draw on... geesh.
So are you going to go get a PhD in neuroscience or what? I think you should oughtta entertain the idea. There's so much insane crap ("vaccines are poisoning our children!") being thrown around in the children's mental health arena, I can't help but think we could use a few more clear heads adding to the discussion.
Posted by: RedMolly | April 21, 2008 at 05:08 PM
Thank you, Chica! That is high praise, coming from the Mistress of All That is Scientific! Besides, I'd have to first get a freakin' bachelor's degree! I got a degree in babymaking instead of going to college... alas. I fake it well, though, no? Being "collegeable knowledgeable?"
Posted by: Lori V. | April 21, 2008 at 09:11 PM
I cannot imagine what you all go thru with youngest. Oldest here is too much for me at times and he has ADHD and sometimes I just want to scream!!! You and M are highly commendable for such grace in handling bipolar issues. I just wish I had as much patience. How do you do it!!?? Since meds my oldest is doing much better, but watch out of a morning before meds kick in, it can be pure HELL!! But you know, I wouldn 't trade it for anything, I know he and my youngest are getting what they now need and that is what is important. Keep us in your thoughts, send me patience if you find any extra anywhere....LOL. Luv to all....Mimi
Posted by: Mimi | April 22, 2008 at 06:58 AM
It is pretty commonplace to modify knowledge how attributions with what I will call "incompleteness" modifiers, because they in some sense indicate an incomplete knowledge state. Some examples:
Posted by: Juicy Bags | February 11, 2011 at 11:40 PM