Do You Realize?

A Tuesday Ten--Google Edition

I'm always amazed at some of the things people Google, which lead them to my blog. Here's a list of ten of the strangest/funniest/dumbest. (Warning: I'm feeling a little salty today. Appropriately sailor-ish language ensues.)

1.  "Chiggers"--- Damn it, people. If some science geeks don't get out there and write some interesting shit about chiggers, I'm going to go crazy! (On the other hand, it would probably steal half my damn traffic.)

2.  "Bedbugs"; "dead bedbugs"; "baby bedbugs"; "evil bedbugs"--- The Internet must have a shockingly inadequate amount of information about bedbugs, because if a Google search for the little fuckers leads these people to my piddly blog, the online world is doomed to an unfortunately misinformed existence!

3.  "Concert groping" --- I'm not sure whether these people are looking for a Concert Gropers Anonymous meeting or a survivor's group or what. I can't help you with either. Get over it. When you go to a concert, you are often in embarrassingly close proximity to others. You may get touched, even on the boob. It's not necessarily purposeful. Unless, of course, you're a hot bitch, then maybe it was.

4.  "Anesthesia politics cunt" --- I can't even imagine a situation in which those three words could be fit together. Whatever it was, I don't think they found a solution here.

5.  "can Concerta make a child start cursing" --- No, but inadequate parenting can. Self-flagellation is a must. Cursing is the worst thing a child will ever cook up in his/her devious little damn brain. (/sarcasm)

6.  "take kids to Edgefest" --- One word. Yes. But they will get groped. (See #3.)

7.  "beautiful pictures of Texas's dessert [sic]" --- My desserts don't hang around on my damn plate long enough to take a beautiful picture, people.

8.  "the cost of Six Flags" --- Your soul, fuckers. Sign on the "X."

9.  "how to get rid of pleas [sic] and chiggers from your house" --- I've got nothing of importance to offer here. However, my kids can give you quite detailed instructions on removing "please and thank you" from your home.

10.  "what to do when husband calls you a cunt" --- I'm not sure exactly why this person felt the need to seek advice from Google on this, but if you haven't found the advice you're looking for, here's a hint: A packed bag and a weekend at a luxurious spa on your turd husband's dime comes to mind, as does dumping all of his shit on the lawn, turning on the sprinklers, and changing the locks. Oh, and maybe a marriage counselor, if none of the other shit works.

Blogiversary Giveaway & Woofday Wednesday

Happy blogiversary to me! I've been at this for a year now, at a pretty steady pace. Amazing to me, really, considering how many times life takes a detour around here. There's lots of new stuff to take in. A new format (not permanent, just until Adobe Photoshop Elements 6 becomes available at the end of March & I can work on a new banner), a new blogroll, a new promise (the iReply movement... it's simple... if you comment, I will reply, either here or by email). Let me know what you think.

Anyway, here's how my blogiversary giveaways are working this week. Every day has a different cool thing to be given away. Each day that there are twenty comments, I will randomly choose from that day's commenters to give away that day's item(s). Today, to go with our Woofday Wednesday theme, I will be drawing to give away a package of Greenies and a sample of Pet Promise dog food. It's what we feed our dogs. It's all-natural, and it guarantees no pet byproducts in its ingredients (no hair, bone, toenails, or euthanized shelter animals in this food!).

For Woofday Wednesday, we have a guest: Sparky, my parents' dog. Sparky is the world's most loving dog. In fact,I have never met a more gentle-spirited dog, and I have met a LOT of dogs. I find it ironic that he looks as if he has a bully breed of some sort mixed into his DNA, but he is a lover, not a fighter.

Sparky wandered up to my parents' place, attached to a chain and bloody from some kind of attack. The vet said it looked like feline bite marks, so his best guess was that Sparky was attacked by a bobcat. His neck was also raw and scarred from that chain around his neck. He was pitiful. Wherever Sparky lived before he came to live with my folks was not a good place to live; he is terrified of storms and firecrackers and loud noise in general. 

Love a stray; neuter & spay!

Blogiversary Countdown (and Giveaway)--4 Days

*A quick note before we get to today's Photo Hunt photo: If you haven't checked out the details of my blogiversary giveaways next week, make sure to do so before you go.*

Blogiversary Countdown (and Giveaway)--5 Days

Happy Friday, all! Yesterday I told you that I'll be giving away a bunch of kickass stuff starting on my blogiversary date, January 27, if you all will comment!!!! You have to comment to win (hell, you have to comment to even get me to give the stuff away... it's diabolical, I know). Anyway, I also told you I'd post a list of the stuff I'm giving away. Be aware, this is just a tentative list. I'm still working on a couple of other things.

Here’s the plan so far:

Wednesday, February 27:  For Woofday Wednesday, I’ll be giving away a bag of Greenies dog treats and a sample of Pet Promise dog food!

Thursday, February 28:  You all know my political leanings. But, since I know some of my readers might prefer a different candidate (or, unbelievably enough, even a different party), I won't be giving away an Obama '08 T-shirt. Instead, I'll be giving away this kickass keychain that is a digital countdown until Bush's last day in office. Regardless of who you're voting for, chances are you're ready for a change, too, right?

Friday, February 29:  Environmental issues were part of my original vision for this blog. Making the good things, like Earth, last a little longer. To help this vision along, I'll be giving away a copy of the new book Big Green Purse by consumer advocate Diane MacEachern!

Saturday, March 1:  For Photo Hunt Saturday, I’ll be giving away a CD with TEN of my favorite photographic images that you can use for your computer desktop or screen saver. A few will probably be ones you've seen on a previous Photo Hunt Saturday, and a few others will be ones you've never seen. But, you can be assured, they will all be lovely!

Sunday, March 2:  For Sunday Scribblings, and to cover my artistic nature, I'll be giving away a handmade journal! The cover and every page will have my loving artful touches. I'll post a photo sometime this week.

Monday, March 3:  For Meowy Monday, I'll be giving away a bag of feline Greenies and a sample of Pet Promise cat food!

Tuesday, March 4: I haven't decided exactly what I'll give away today. Stay tuned. Once I figure it out, I'll edit this post & add it in.

Blogiversary Countdown-- 6 Days

In just under a week, I’ll celebrate my one-year blogiversary. Without readers, I wouldn’t have a blog; I’d just keep a journal. And it's not nearly as fun sharing some of this shit with yourself as it is to share it with others, who either nod & think, "Rock on, bitch!" or, maybe even better, turn red in the face and fume, "Are you freakin' nuts?!?" As such, I think it’s only appropriate that I celebrate my blogiversary with you, my readers, and use it to thank you.

I have a couple of blogging goals this year. One is to increase my readership. Another is to encourage more comments from my readers. And so, to combine my 2008 goals, my gratitude for my 2007 readers, and the topics that are near and dear to me, I’m having a week full of blogiversary giveaways! Here’s what I have in mind:

Beginning on my blogiversary date, January 27, I will be giving away something fabulous every day that there are at least twenty comments on my post. In order to throw your name in for that day’s giveaway, simply leave a comment for that day. Make sure to include your email address and/or your website so I can get in touch with you. If you're reading and not commenting, now's the time to come out of the woodwork. If this is your first visit and you're just here for the free stuff, look around a little, then comment. Now, are you curious about what I’m giving away? Stay tuned. Tomorrow, I'll have a list up. I'm trying to give something away each day that embodies something different about the content of this blog; as you can imagine, it will be a very eclectic list, and you may be interested in every day's stuff, or only one or two days.

I'll also be tweaking the options for the blog (adding Digg & del.icio.us, a couple of new links, etc.), so stick around & spread the word!

I'm a'thinkin'...

...that I've been given a Thinking Blogger Award! A big thank you to Alina, my friend in the Netherlands, who is still In the Closet about her environmentalism (I wonder if they have environmentalist rehab, like gay rehab? Since I think both groups should be purged of their evil thoughts and ways and all...). Apparently, I inspire her a little (as she does me)... I am bursting with excitement at the thought!

The five blogs I'm going to nominate are very diverse, not all environmental in nature, and since that is what inspired Alina about my blog, I thought it only appropriate. Besides, you can find a ton of environmental inspiration on my Great Green Sites sidebar. As my friend from another blog so eloquently put it, "I consider every blog I list in my blogroll to be thought-provoking (otherwise, it wouldn’t be there!)." I am also trying to share the love by nominating people who have not yet been nominated. So without further ado, here are the Five Blogs That Make Me Think (and why):

1.  Shawn, over at Kowai. He's needing a little inspiration to keep posting, and I'm hoping this will do it. He is my environmental tag of the bunch; he has a lot to say, and I I think it's all worth hearing. He's witty, intelligent, and he has a cute panda on his banner; need I say more?!?

2.  Tony (and Philip), at Homeless Man Speaks. They are making me think a lot about the homeless situation and re-affirming my belief that we are all just one disaster (be it financial, familial, or environmental) away from homelessness. Tony puts a face on "the man on the corner." And it's a lovely, thoughtful, intelligent face.

3.  Molly, at the RedMolly Picayune-Democrat. She will laugh when she finds out that her blog makes me think, since she has stated before that she has nothing of any real value to post, a statement with which I wholly disagree. She is quirky, smart, strong, and we have so much in common that she makes me think whether I want to or not! (She doesn't know it, but she's the one that made me think I wanted a blog!)

4.  "AC," over at Confessions of an Anonymous Coward. A very recent, but tantalizing, find (on RedMolly's site, go figure). This guy spent 20-odd years faithfully following his LDS doctrine, and then one day realized he didn't believe a damn thing that religion had to offer and never really had. He, however, remained "in the church" so as not to bring hurt to his loved ones there. He is very eloquent and deep, and totally not a raving athiest lunatic (funny how athiests get the same general stereotype as environmentalists).

5.  Christy, from Farm Dreams. A big surprise for me, since I only stumbled upon this blog by accident. The author is the first person ever to make me even consider remotely that unschooling can be a viable educational choice. She is articulate, thoughtful, and her perspectives will make you think.

A special mention: Blue Like the Sky. This lady is a writer from the inside out, and I love reading her stuff, plus she has a commanding vocabulary. Blogging is new for her, so there's only a few posts thus far, but I'm hoping this will give her the kickstart she needs. She makes me think on a regular basis. I did not give you a nomination only because I did not want to put unnecessary pressure on you and your posts.

Now, if you were tagged, follow the link up top & you'll find the easy-to-follow rules.

Welcome...

...to my new little corner of the web!

I've technically had a blog for almost two years, but it was really only a pathetic smattering of entries (although some were pretty darn good entries...). I really miss writing, though, so I thought I'd give it another go. Everyone deserves a frest start, don't they?

Do You Realize?

"Do You Realize that you have the most beautiful face?
Do You Realize that we're floating in space?
Do You Realize that happiness makes you cry?
Do You Realize that everyone you know someday will die--

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes--let them know
You realize that life goes fast;
It's hard to make the good things last.
You realize the sun doesn't go down;
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning 'round."

(Lyrics by The Flaming Lips.)