Do You Realize?

The tightening of the wingnuts

I've been surfing this morning, and the waves are high and treacherous .

Have you noticed that when a person can't poke holes in a politician's policies or the job they've done/are doing, they resort to trying to poke holes in their private lives?

Hate-filled fundies have done their best now to prove Obama attended a madrasa, that he's not a "true" Christian or that his church is racist against whites, and now this man has made not one, but two, YouTube videos claiming to have had a coke-crack-and-fellatio-fest with Barack in the back of his limo.

Let me just go on record as saying that if this story is, indeed, true, that Larry Sinclair is the singular highest form of idiot: one who doesn't know the monetary gains of true blackmail. Okay, that was a joke, but this isn't. If I have solid, proof-backed claims of misconduct of such a well-known figure, I know I'm headed to the New York Times, the Washington Post, Time, Newsweek. But Larry? His exposure of choice is YouTube, where any jackass with a cameraphone is a celebrity in their own mind. We teach our kids to ignore schoolyard taunting, and yet there are people out there who want Obama to respond to this? Right now? Shall he drop his campaign duties and make himself a YouTube response video?

On one wingnut delicious Republican site, which I shall not publicize, I found not only the Larry Sinclair breaking news, but also this bullshit juicy little morsel (which I've picked apart and provided responses) about hatemonger Fred Phelps being a registered Democrat:

Quick question, why do the Democrat candidates for President refuse to condemn the antics of the Leftist religious groups in their party?

I hardly think not taking the time to specifically address Phelps publicly constitutes a refusal to condemn the man and his hateful brood. And is there any such thing as a "Leftist religious group?" Also, if you truly think this is a "quick question," you're completely lacking in anything resembling intelligence.

Is there anyone more disgusting than their Westboro Baptist Church backers?

No. No, there isn't. Except maybe murderers and rapists and the pedophile pervert that recently found my site after searching for the words "underage cunt hole." (Boy, he was disappointed!) Those people may give Fred a run for his money.

Why will they not kick Fred Phelps to the curb? Is it because his hate is exactly like theirs, well except for hating FAGS? Is it because he uses their playbook religiously?

I'd like some clear proof, or at least a semblence of examples, of the accusation that he "uses their playbook religiously," and the "hating FAGS" is where he's more like the redneck fundies who pen entries like the one I'm addressing.

Will the Clintons return the money that Phelps gave them?

I tried at opensecrets.org to find that money, and I couldn't. Besides, Phelps has very openly been "anti-Clinton" once he realized Bill didn't espouse the same, errr, virtues as ol' Fred did.

Will Phelps again get invited to the White House if Hillary is elected like he did when Bill was? Will Phelps send his son to Hillary's inauguration like he did to Bill's first?

A Phelps may have, indeed, showed up at Bill's first inauguration. The one-sided love affair didn't last long. Fred's Westboro Baptist Church picketed Bill's mother's funeral, as well as Al Gore's father's funeral. I suspect he won't show up in support of Hillary any time soon.

I just want to know why homosexual groups refuse to try to kick him out of the party. I mean, is getting elected so important to them that they will allow Phelps and all the other hate groups (KKK, NAACP, etal) to continue to be the majority of their party?

Is it even possible to kick someone out of a political party? We are not the Pope; we cannot excommunicate someone who's simply chosen to keep the word "Democrat" on his voter registration card out of spite. And, are the Democrats so popular as to attract both the KKK and the NAACP? Seems like, despite its early Democratic implications, the KKK today attracts many more conservatives than liberals to its ranks.

Please, if there is a single Democrat that knows these answers, let me know. I just can't come up with one good reason why there is actually a group with so much hate amongst them.

I can't come up with a good reason for the existence of hate groups, either. But the fundies and their "Obamanation" agenda should recognize some parallels.

First and foremost, anyone who believes that Fred Phelps adheres to any political party's true ideals needs to be shot. Fred Phelps adheres to only one agenda: his own. I don't accept him as a true Democrat any more than I would be stupid enough to suggest he were a true Republican. Yes, his voter registration card (which is how old if Phelps is pushing 70?) says "Democrat." I like how Mother Jones stated it in 1999: "He still calls himself a Democrat, refusing to change just because his party has." If you look at Fred Phelps's beliefs, they are far and away closer to the right than the left: extreme religiosity, anti-homosexual, racist. But, again, remember I said I don't think he's truly representative of either legitimate political party.

Second, quickly addressing Obama's "clear" disrespect for white Christians everywhere, let's suppose he was, heaven forbid, NOT a Christian. Does our Constitution not declare that he should be able to choose any religion he wishes? Does our legal definition of who can hold the office of President of the United States include that (s)he must be a Christian? NO. Even if he were Muslim, he would be afforded that right by our Constitution, just as I'm allowed to carry my AK-47 squirrel hunting if I so choose. The problem is extremism, and I boldly declare that any religious extremist is dangerous. A fundamental Christian nut who bombs abortion clinics in God's name is no different to me than a fundamental Muslim nut who bombs the pet market in Allah's name.

Asking the Wrong Questions

This video has surfaced, prompting people to question whether our beef is safe. It shows a cattle worker torturing a dairy cow who is too sick to walk into the slaughterhouse. (Unless an animal can walk in unassisted, it is not supposed to be slaughtered for human consumption.) Though that is a valid question (for those who don't do buy pasture-raised & finished beef), the question people should be asking is whether humanity itself is safe when there are members who are willing to look into the eyes of a weaker species and then do these things to them. Certainly the possibility of their willingness to treat children the same comes to mind. I'm sure the wives of the two workers pictured here are proud of their husbands.

According to this video, we're just monkeys that can operate forklifts. Animals, just like the others. (Warning to all my religious readers: you will be offended by this video, I'm pretty sure.) This video was passed along to me by a friend of Eldest; Eric, you are quite the fabulously intelligent and charming guy. Dance, monkeys, dance!

Love It/Hate It

Just a post to let you inside the convoluted maelstrom that is my mind this week. It's an abbreviated list of things I'm lovin' or hatin'.

LOVE IT:  Whole Foods is getting rid of plastic bags! Their paper bags are both recyclable and recycled, but their focus is education and trying to convince people to bring their own. They were giving away a free bag with your purchase a couple of days ago. They are the cutest reusable bags ever, and they are roomy, strong, and made from 80% post-consumer waste (recycled water bottles and such).

HATE IT:  My shampoo, which is natural & plant-based, smells like pink SweeTarts. Two of the last four or five bottles of it, though, have developed a funky, soured smell. I don't know if it's the sunlight from the window in the shower or variations in crops or just what it is, but I'm ready to switch. Sad. I like pink SweeTarts.

LOVE IT:  My morning radio show, Lex & Terry, has moved to a new home radio station here in Dallas. I like the new station. They play a widely varying collection of rock and metal from many years and eras. The Doors, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Ozzy Osbourne, 80's hair bands, Kid Rock. I like variey; it keeps me from getting bored.

HATE IT:  These seriously psychotic hatemongers. One simply cannot wrap a logically-thinking brain around such poignant tidbits of batshittery. For those who don't follow links, don't read the newspapers, or have somehow missed these lovely citizens, they are the "church" that believes that America is being punished by God for our wicked acceptance of "fags," picketing dead soldiers' funerals with signs that say, "Thank God for dead soldiers" (because the military are "fag-enablers," dontcha know?). (It's a scary situation when radical evangelical Christians say you're crazy.)

LOVE IT:  This season's Project Runway. Go Christian! (Oh, the irony, Fred Phelps! I think my Christian may be a homosexual... he'd better hope he wins the whole damn thing before the apocolypse, because my other faves are also gay, and my first non-condemned choice, Gillian, would be a poor substitute for my fierce little Christian.)

HATE IT:  Being such a Master Procrastinator. There is such an overwhelming list of home repairs/improvements we need to make, and had we fixed them when they actually happened, I would not feel so damned suffocated right now. But, because we suffer from Scarlett O'Hara Syndrome, we figured we'd put it off. Now a dozen little things have become a dozen more problematic things that all seem to be developing a domino-effect relationship and all seem to have their own separate contractor, to boot.

Have a great weekend, all!

Giving Thanks

Only in the last couple of days or weeks have I started really thinking about this whole Thanksgiving holiday. Like most traditional holidays, we celebrate it and honor its traditions of giving thanks for our blessings. However, who are we really thanking for all this? My husband is a heathen Athiest scientist doctor, and I am currently mad at God for playing games with us "little people." Are we thanking him/her?

Is it possible to be thankful FOR something but not TO anyone in particular? I'd like to think so. Because I AM thankful for a lot of things. Did GOD grant these things to me? Fate? Chance? I don't know. But this I DO know. I am thankful for:

• My wonderful heathen, Athiest scientist doctor husband
• My three fantastic, diverse, and annoying children
• My bazillion bizarre and crazy pets
• My mother's new healthy liver and the donor who was kind enough to give it
• My friends far and near
• My health
• Good movies
• Good food
• Good booze
• My MacBook Pro 17"
• Our Nikon D2x
• My Prius and all the goodness it entails
• The fact that I am too smart to join the hordes of dumbasses elbowing each other for "good deals" at 4 a.m. on Black Friday

Happy Turkey Day, all! Gobble, gobble! (Except we're eating free-range local chicken...)

A Tuesday Ten--Complaint Department Edition

I'm kind of cranky this week. And to prove it, I present you ten things that are on my damn nerves this week (some big, some trivial... I'm balanced that way!):

1. The thing that is bugging me the worst right now is America's glib treatment of mental illness in general. If someone has one little mood fluctuation, people make offhand and ignorant remarks about them being "bipolar." Britney Spears has become a pariah; she is obviously suffering, possibly (I daresay probably) in a depression at the very least, yet all we want is to talk about how "crazy" she is. This story has me all sorts of mad. First, why was this woman, clearly crying out for help (and quite articulately, at that), left alone in a holding cell? If police had been following departmental procedure, she would still be alive today. And second, why aren't more people talking about it, questioning it?

2. Celadon Trucking, who apparently don't realize that common sense marketing strategy would have led them in a different direction. Celadon is GREEN, you numbnuts!

3. The media's treatment of Al Gore, from cherry-picking quotes until they barely resemble the original (he did NOT say he INVENTED the Internet, jackasses) and dissecting everything from his sighing habits to his clothing during the Presidential campaign, now acting like he's always been their darling. No hard feelings, right, Al?

4. Stupid drivers. This will show up on every single pet peeve list of mine until the day I surrender my license because I'm too old or blind to safely operate a vehicle.

5. Hypocrisy. "God's Warrior" Marguerite Perrin from Trading Spouses renounced her family's final $50,000 in 2005, saying (okay, screeching) it was "tainted" and "dark-sided." When she found out that $20,000 had been earmarked for her gastric bypass surgery, though, she reconsidered and took the money. She even went back on Trading Spouses for a second torturous episode. She also said she didn't want money or fame, she just wanted Her God and Her Family. But somehow, she's found a way to capitalize on America's impression of her with a comedy music CD and interviews on numerous TV shows.

6. Drizzly days. Theoretically, rainy days should be like free showers for your car, in my opinion. Drizzly days make dirty roads into muddy roads, and your car always ends up dirtier than it was before the rain. Not cool.

7. Dumbasses who insist on pronouncing the number one hundred as “a hunnerd” or, even better, “a hunnert.” I have heard at least two different radio advertisements this week in which the spokesman slaughtered this. WTF?

8. Childhood Bipolar Disorder. No one should have to live with this disease, and no one should have to live with a child who has this disease. It is devastating, frustrating, confusing, time consuming, and it absolutely eclipses every other person, problem, and plan inside a family.

9. Doggy agression. Our oldest dog, Poogan, is beautiful. But if she were human, she would be the old bitchy aunt that no one wants to visit because all the kids are afraid of her. And she’s got so many neuroses and fears. She's afraid of a whole host of household items & actions: vacuum cleaner, ceiling fans, broom & mop, vacuum cleaner, shadows, candles, shiny reflections, vacuum cleaner, the doorbell, strangers... the list goes on forever... did I mention we've had to replace 5 vacuum cleaner hoses from where she bites holes in them? In her old age, she's also starting to growl and snap at any other living thing that crosses her path, barking shrilly at anything that startles or upsets her. Gah, it gets old.

10. Dropped signals. Whether it's my cell phone or my wireless internet connection, my electronics have been dropping me like a baby giraffe lately.

See? I told you I was cranky!

Family Circus Redux

Since my Family Circus post went over so swimmingly (i.e. drawing my first truly negative comment... woo hoo!), I thought I'd post another, equally controversial opinion (hey, no guts, no glory, right?).

If you thought the Duggars were crazy (and you know you did), I can't wait to tell you about the two families I read about today! After stumbling about in the blogosphere and coming across another post about these people, I was inspired to look up their webpages. (And before you get all flamed up about my lack of sensitivity, I do realize these babies' lives hang in a delicate balance, and I can't imagine the pain the parents are feeling right now. I truly hope everything works out for them, but I still hold the same opinion regarding the circumstances of the pregnancies.)

We'll start with Jenny & Bryan (age before beauty, Brianna & Ryan... you'll have your turn). Jenny is 32, Bryan is 29. Jenny just birthed their six babies almost 10 weeks early, and all but one weighed less than three pounds. Taken from their website (we're all invited to come & help them raise their kids!): "The doctor simply gave Jenny the drugs to increase fertility... and then they took Bryan's contribution, and a turkey baster... and voila... God decided to make six babies." You have got to be kidding me, right?!?! What was God deciding when he let her miscarry the two previous pregnancies? If you're going to give God the credit for making these babies, why not give Him the credit for taking the others? Maybe God was telling her that her oven might not be especially good at baking buns, so quit trying to stick one in there. And while we're giving God all the credit, why did He decide to let her deliver 10 weeks early, to buns that were only partially risen?

Next up is Brianna and Ryan. Brianna is just 24 years old, and their website leads me to believe that Ryan is just 22 years old. Now, I can almost see Jenny, at 32, feeling the urgency of a ticking biological clock, but at 24, you've got plenty of years left (just ask Michelle Duggar, who's 40!). Some tidbits from their website are a little more disturbing than the others (especially considering that she delivered at only 22 weeks): "He will bring the lives of these babies to full health and fruition and everyone will say, “Look, God has done something amazing!”" Also, their doctors strongly urged selective reduction, which they summarily dismissed: "the risks of carrying and delivering six babies are too great. They said that reducing the number of fetuses now would increase the chance of survival for the the remaining fetusus as they develop, and would decrease the chance of long-term health risks for the babies that were carried to term. However, we knew right away that this is not an option for us. We understand that the risk is high, but we also understand that these little ones are much more than six fetuses. Each one of them is a miracle given to us by God." Now, somehow, they will find it necessary to search and find reasons that God gave them their miracles at the wrong time.

Now, even if you are all on-board with the Duggars' philosophy of "letting God decide" the number of children you will have, can you at least see the fundamental difference in these cases? If they were "letting God decide," why start fertility treatments? God apparently DID decide; He decided not to give them biological babies. Perhaps the early deliveries are just reinforcement of that decision.

Family Circus

Yesterday, I read an update on the Duggar family. In case you've never heard of them (and you don't follow links in my posts), Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are 8 months pregnant... with Kid #17! They used birth control for four years, had their first child, then resumed The Pill. They got pregnant again, & she miscarried; blaming it on The Pill, they asked God to forgive them, and promised they would accept as many children as He saw fit to give them; they certainly now have a quiver full. They live in Arkansas in a 7000 sq. ft. home, built by Jim Bob & the boys, debt free. Both Jim Bob & Michelle are real estate agents, and Jim Bob was a House Representative for Arkansas from 1998-2003.

Please realize, there are certainly some things that I really admire about these people. They own 9 vehicles and a 7000 sq. ft. home, all paid for in full with cash; they are debt-free (their previous home had all of 2200 sq. ft. for 18 of them). They run their household on about $5000 per month. (Granted, this is a figure from 2006, when the currently in-utero Jennifer Danielle was only a sparkle in Jim Bob's eye, so it may be a little more now.) They buy almost all of their clothing from thrift stores or eBay (although they will spend $70-$80 for each girl for Wholesome swimsuits). Plus, their website was created on a Mac; they automatically get points for wise computing choices.

All the good things aside, though, I can't help but be really miffed at their choice to populate a small country of resource consumers (maybe that miscarriage was God telling them that one kid was enough). While some of us are doing all sorts of things to reduce our footprint, here come the nineteen Duggars; nothing about a 19-member household's environmental footprint can be small. Although they were all paid for with cash, they still own 9 vehicles (not one of them is a Prius). Yes, they buy their clothes from thrift stores, I get the distinct feeling from articles and Discovery Channel specials that it's more from monetary frugality than concern for the environment. They wash more than 60 loads of laundry a week! Doing the math, that's 3 loads per person, per week; that's upwards of 10 loads each day (assuming, since they are so religious, that they won't do laundry on the Lord's Day)... more than I do each week. There are 4 times the number of people in their household, but somehow they manage 6 times more laundry; I'm not sure how that works.

Maybe I'm just grumpy from lack of sleep last night, or maybe I'm channeling my inner Andy Rooney, but this just twists my knickers a little. Michelle Duggar has been pregnant for a total of 133 months, the equivalent of six elephant gestations; I think six elephants might tread lighter on the earth.

Monday Meanderings, Part Deux

So, Mark has taken this week off work, as well (the result of not taking all of his vacation time during the rest of the year), and it always seems to happen that I don't post when he's here at home... I've also noticed that the whole household has a veil of tardiness hanging over all its members when he's home. But, as usual, my brain actually does work when he's here, I just don't post about it when it happens. All of which leads to Monday Meanderings. Where has my mind been meandering this week?

Garbage Land. Fascinating book, and I'm only on the 4th chapter. I'll post a little more as I get further along. Right now, I'm just thinking about a good chunk of New York actually built on top of garbage, and it's quite amazing to think about.

Monsanto. I really had no idea how mind-numbingly detrimental this company is to the public's health and wellbeing: from saccharin to styrofoam, Roundup to Agent Orange, genetically modified foods to bovine growth hormones. And what's up with the whole pig breeding patent?  That's more than just a little creepy.

Corn. Speaking of Monsanto, I find myself looking at all corn with suspicion now. Is that corn in my wild bird feed genetically modified? What about my canned corn? And I've heard that corn syrup (which I use at least once a week for my gingerbread pancake recipe) is pretty much all genetically jacked-up.

Chemicals. We just paid $1000 to Terminix to inject our soil with termite poison. I know it's buried, and I know it's supposed to be totally "safe" to be around, but I'm still more than a little discomfited by it. (There goes my hope of growing anything "organic" around my house.) But, it's either poison the termites, or let them eat the house. Neither sounds like a good option to me, just like the politicians around here.

Window screens. I'd love to be able to open our windows this spring & summer, but our windows don't have screens. Does anyone know if screens are easy to install? Do we have to hire someone to do it, or is it a DIY job? (In answer to the first anticipated question, screens are necessary in our house because we have 4 indoor cats and at least 3 outdoor dogs, not to mention that I have this extreme rabid aversion to flies.)

Ooooh, and how could I forget the religious nutcases that have been on my mind? Jerry Falwell and Stephen Baldwin, particularly. Now, I really don't have any problems, per se, with people's various religions. I may not necessarily accept their same views, but as long as they aren't pushing them on me, we'll all be fine. But when someone starts telling me that gays, lesbians, & the ACLU caused 9/11 and that my kids shouldn't watch the Teletubbies because "Tinky Winky is gay,"  it's time to part ways, my friend. (Now, if you were to pose the infinitely more intelligent argument that the kids shouldn't be allowed to watch the Teletubbies because they inhibit their language skills, I'm all ears.) And Stephen Baldwin (yes, one of those Baldwin brothers), the self-proclaimed "Jesus Psycho" that can't remember even six of the Ten Commandments? He's just scary crazy. Or maybe crazy scary. Even scarier, though? The rockin' feedback from his book at Amazon, which indicates there are a lot of Jesus Psychos out there.

And there you have a few of the things that have been on my mind this week. What about you? What's been on your mind?

I'm a'thinkin'...

...that I've been given a Thinking Blogger Award! A big thank you to Alina, my friend in the Netherlands, who is still In the Closet about her environmentalism (I wonder if they have environmentalist rehab, like gay rehab? Since I think both groups should be purged of their evil thoughts and ways and all...). Apparently, I inspire her a little (as she does me)... I am bursting with excitement at the thought!

The five blogs I'm going to nominate are very diverse, not all environmental in nature, and since that is what inspired Alina about my blog, I thought it only appropriate. Besides, you can find a ton of environmental inspiration on my Great Green Sites sidebar. As my friend from another blog so eloquently put it, "I consider every blog I list in my blogroll to be thought-provoking (otherwise, it wouldn’t be there!)." I am also trying to share the love by nominating people who have not yet been nominated. So without further ado, here are the Five Blogs That Make Me Think (and why):

1.  Shawn, over at Kowai. He's needing a little inspiration to keep posting, and I'm hoping this will do it. He is my environmental tag of the bunch; he has a lot to say, and I I think it's all worth hearing. He's witty, intelligent, and he has a cute panda on his banner; need I say more?!?

2.  Tony (and Philip), at Homeless Man Speaks. They are making me think a lot about the homeless situation and re-affirming my belief that we are all just one disaster (be it financial, familial, or environmental) away from homelessness. Tony puts a face on "the man on the corner." And it's a lovely, thoughtful, intelligent face.

3.  Molly, at the RedMolly Picayune-Democrat. She will laugh when she finds out that her blog makes me think, since she has stated before that she has nothing of any real value to post, a statement with which I wholly disagree. She is quirky, smart, strong, and we have so much in common that she makes me think whether I want to or not! (She doesn't know it, but she's the one that made me think I wanted a blog!)

4.  "AC," over at Confessions of an Anonymous Coward. A very recent, but tantalizing, find (on RedMolly's site, go figure). This guy spent 20-odd years faithfully following his LDS doctrine, and then one day realized he didn't believe a damn thing that religion had to offer and never really had. He, however, remained "in the church" so as not to bring hurt to his loved ones there. He is very eloquent and deep, and totally not a raving athiest lunatic (funny how athiests get the same general stereotype as environmentalists).

5.  Christy, from Farm Dreams. A big surprise for me, since I only stumbled upon this blog by accident. The author is the first person ever to make me even consider remotely that unschooling can be a viable educational choice. She is articulate, thoughtful, and her perspectives will make you think.

A special mention: Blue Like the Sky. This lady is a writer from the inside out, and I love reading her stuff, plus she has a commanding vocabulary. Blogging is new for her, so there's only a few posts thus far, but I'm hoping this will give her the kickstart she needs. She makes me think on a regular basis. I did not give you a nomination only because I did not want to put unnecessary pressure on you and your posts.

Now, if you were tagged, follow the link up top & you'll find the easy-to-follow rules.

Flashback

I am on strike... from life in general. I need a break. And so, instead of a new post in which I have to utilize brain cells, I will share (read: copy & paste) a post from 2005 that was a favorite (of mine and others).

Sunday Muffins and other Hedonism

I smell Sunday Muffins... our family's Sunday ritual... streusel-topped, big-as-the-cat's-head, real-blueberry muffins... with BUTTER... (drool)

Am I going to Hell for my Sunday Muffins someday?  I don't know... and this is posing a big problem for me lately.  I've been wondering:  How can I encourage my children to embark on a spiritual quest to discover their own beliefs when I'm not even sure what MINE are, and WHY?  And so, I've been researching different religions and spiritual values. 

I started with Christianity, the religion of my childhood.  I have no problem believing in Creationism, and I don't necessarily believe that Science and Creationism are polar opposites, but can mesh with one another.  What I *AM* having problems with is figuring out why our divine Creator would set us up for failure by giving Adam and Eve Free Will.  If He's omnipotent, wouldn't He have known what they would choose before they chose it?  And what in Heaven's name does Free Will have to do with disease, suffering, and death of babies and children?  Why punish the Good, when there's enough Bad for him to play with for a LOOOOONG time?  If he wiped out Sodom & Gemorrah (sp?), why doesn't he wipe out Al Qaeda; does He really mean for us to believe that homosexuals are worse than monsters?  SIGH... I don't have the answers... and I'm really mad with God for now.

After buying a Pagan magazine & more or less reading through it, I'm more than pretty sure that I'm not Pagan... I don't buy the multiple deities thing, but I admire their peacefulness as opposed to Christianity's "eye for an eye" mentality.

Buddhism... much to my surprise, I discovered that it's not really a religion, but a set of values to embrace as taught by the Buddha... I love the concept of Mindfulness & Compassion by which they live.  I love their non-violence... I think I mesh well with Buddhism...

I haven't gotten to Hinduism yet, but, again, the whole multiple deity thing is a little hoky for me.

And so, today I will eat my Sunday Muffins with butter without fear of retribution from my Creator... I think...

(Thoughtful sharing is encouraged in the Comments; nasty snarkiness need not apply.)

Edited to add: I haven't been struck down for my Sunday breakfast indulgences. We have switched, however, from those sinful trans-fat-laden muffins to gingerbread pancakes; whether that has anything to do with it, I don't know.