Do You Realize?

I think I'm a fake liberal.

Anyone who's spent a goodly amount of time around here knows that my politics lean pretty far to the left. I'm even pretty socially liberal. Or am I? My social liberalism has recently been tested by a situation in our neighborhood. I'm a fake. A sham. A freakin' NIMBY, for pity's sake!

We live in a nice, established neighborhood. The houses were all built 20 or more years ago; there are a few families with kids, but not a lot. Often, we leave our front door and our cars unlocked. It's usually pretty quiet, despite our across-the-street neighbor, who is a lawyer with an obnoxious, drunken twentysomething-year-old son.

Long story slightly shorter is this: We have relatively new neighbors with a young son (hereafter called "K.") who has begun taking liberties with other people's boundaries. In the span of a week, he's taken toys that don't belong to him; walked into our fenced-in backyard & jumped into our pool after being told he could not, as adults were not home; walked into our unlocked front door when no one answered the doorbell; walked into another neighbor's unlocked front door under the same circumstances; gotten into yet another neighbor's vehicle uninvited; and hauled out our garden hose to play with on several occasions. He does not leave when asked or directed, even by an adult.

Here's where my fake liberalism shows up. Through the grapevine, I've heard that a local church is buying and/or renting houses in town, then setting up underprivileged families in them, sometimes even putting a couple of families together in a larger house. This is how K. and his extended family (I've seen at least five different cars in the driveway) allegedly came to live in this house. A truly liberal person would think that this is a fine charitable thing that the church is doing to help the lower class families in town to get up on their feet to make a better life for themselves. Is that what I'm thinking? Well, yes. But, I'm also thinking that maybe it's not so wise to scoop someone up out of the 'hood and dump them, ever-so-benevolently, in a 4000-square-foot house in a quiet neighborhood with obviously very different expectations than the ones they seem to be accustomed.

I soothe my wounded progressive pride by telling myself it's a good thing we're not hard-core Second-Amendment-or-bust types, or K. might be pulling some buckshot out of his ass right about now.

Bon Scott must be jealous...

... because I think Hillary Clinton has "the biggest balls of them all!"

She has been generous enough to suggest that Barack Obama would be a wonderful Vice President! As Obama succinctly pointed out, though, he's won twice as many states as Clinton; he's won more of the popular vote than Clinton; and he is ahead of Clinton in the delegate count. How exactly is she currently in a position to offer him a Vice President's position? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Wow.

Some ironic Clinton/Obama news: the little girl in Hillary's infamously fearmongering "3 a.m." advertisement is now all grown up and plans to vote for Obama in November! BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! That just strikes me as the epitome of humorous political irony. Turns out Clinton used stock footage shot eight or nine years ago, and the little girl in the ad, Casey Knowles, will be turning eighteen in time to cast a vote; too bad for Hillary, that vote will be for Obama.

Finally, remember the nutcase Larry Sinclair, who accused Obama of drugs & homosexual sex in 1999? He quietly FAILED the polygraph that was his idea to take in the first place. Ooops! He is not, however, going gently into that good night. He is planning more legal action against Obama and his campaign. I'm sorry, but if this story had any real teeth, the news media would be all over it like white on rice, and Hillary would have already wrapped up the Democratic nomination rather neatly.

The tightening of the wingnuts

I've been surfing this morning, and the waves are high and treacherous .

Have you noticed that when a person can't poke holes in a politician's policies or the job they've done/are doing, they resort to trying to poke holes in their private lives?

Hate-filled fundies have done their best now to prove Obama attended a madrasa, that he's not a "true" Christian or that his church is racist against whites, and now this man has made not one, but two, YouTube videos claiming to have had a coke-crack-and-fellatio-fest with Barack in the back of his limo.

Let me just go on record as saying that if this story is, indeed, true, that Larry Sinclair is the singular highest form of idiot: one who doesn't know the monetary gains of true blackmail. Okay, that was a joke, but this isn't. If I have solid, proof-backed claims of misconduct of such a well-known figure, I know I'm headed to the New York Times, the Washington Post, Time, Newsweek. But Larry? His exposure of choice is YouTube, where any jackass with a cameraphone is a celebrity in their own mind. We teach our kids to ignore schoolyard taunting, and yet there are people out there who want Obama to respond to this? Right now? Shall he drop his campaign duties and make himself a YouTube response video?

On one wingnut delicious Republican site, which I shall not publicize, I found not only the Larry Sinclair breaking news, but also this bullshit juicy little morsel (which I've picked apart and provided responses) about hatemonger Fred Phelps being a registered Democrat:

Quick question, why do the Democrat candidates for President refuse to condemn the antics of the Leftist religious groups in their party?

I hardly think not taking the time to specifically address Phelps publicly constitutes a refusal to condemn the man and his hateful brood. And is there any such thing as a "Leftist religious group?" Also, if you truly think this is a "quick question," you're completely lacking in anything resembling intelligence.

Is there anyone more disgusting than their Westboro Baptist Church backers?

No. No, there isn't. Except maybe murderers and rapists and the pedophile pervert that recently found my site after searching for the words "underage cunt hole." (Boy, he was disappointed!) Those people may give Fred a run for his money.

Why will they not kick Fred Phelps to the curb? Is it because his hate is exactly like theirs, well except for hating FAGS? Is it because he uses their playbook religiously?

I'd like some clear proof, or at least a semblence of examples, of the accusation that he "uses their playbook religiously," and the "hating FAGS" is where he's more like the redneck fundies who pen entries like the one I'm addressing.

Will the Clintons return the money that Phelps gave them?

I tried at opensecrets.org to find that money, and I couldn't. Besides, Phelps has very openly been "anti-Clinton" once he realized Bill didn't espouse the same, errr, virtues as ol' Fred did.

Will Phelps again get invited to the White House if Hillary is elected like he did when Bill was? Will Phelps send his son to Hillary's inauguration like he did to Bill's first?

A Phelps may have, indeed, showed up at Bill's first inauguration. The one-sided love affair didn't last long. Fred's Westboro Baptist Church picketed Bill's mother's funeral, as well as Al Gore's father's funeral. I suspect he won't show up in support of Hillary any time soon.

I just want to know why homosexual groups refuse to try to kick him out of the party. I mean, is getting elected so important to them that they will allow Phelps and all the other hate groups (KKK, NAACP, etal) to continue to be the majority of their party?

Is it even possible to kick someone out of a political party? We are not the Pope; we cannot excommunicate someone who's simply chosen to keep the word "Democrat" on his voter registration card out of spite. And, are the Democrats so popular as to attract both the KKK and the NAACP? Seems like, despite its early Democratic implications, the KKK today attracts many more conservatives than liberals to its ranks.

Please, if there is a single Democrat that knows these answers, let me know. I just can't come up with one good reason why there is actually a group with so much hate amongst them.

I can't come up with a good reason for the existence of hate groups, either. But the fundies and their "Obamanation" agenda should recognize some parallels.

First and foremost, anyone who believes that Fred Phelps adheres to any political party's true ideals needs to be shot. Fred Phelps adheres to only one agenda: his own. I don't accept him as a true Democrat any more than I would be stupid enough to suggest he were a true Republican. Yes, his voter registration card (which is how old if Phelps is pushing 70?) says "Democrat." I like how Mother Jones stated it in 1999: "He still calls himself a Democrat, refusing to change just because his party has." If you look at Fred Phelps's beliefs, they are far and away closer to the right than the left: extreme religiosity, anti-homosexual, racist. But, again, remember I said I don't think he's truly representative of either legitimate political party.

Second, quickly addressing Obama's "clear" disrespect for white Christians everywhere, let's suppose he was, heaven forbid, NOT a Christian. Does our Constitution not declare that he should be able to choose any religion he wishes? Does our legal definition of who can hold the office of President of the United States include that (s)he must be a Christian? NO. Even if he were Muslim, he would be afforded that right by our Constitution, just as I'm allowed to carry my AK-47 squirrel hunting if I so choose. The problem is extremism, and I boldly declare that any religious extremist is dangerous. A fundamental Christian nut who bombs abortion clinics in God's name is no different to me than a fundamental Muslim nut who bombs the pet market in Allah's name.

This 'n' That

Youngest is on a school trip for three days. I stayed in bed on my laptop until almost noon today, with two cats and a dog for company. It felt delicious.

I'm so excited. My sister & aunt have asked me to get them information about the Presidential candidates. They apparently missed John McCain saying he's okay with staying in Iraq for another fifty or a hundred years. I'm hoping my information will sway their opinions away from the Dark Side (sort of just kidding, Meems). I asked them which five issues they find most important when deciding who gets their vote, and I'm compiling info for the three most viable candidates (Since they do not want to see me move to Italy or Canada, they are not voting Huckabee... I'm sure that's the only reason, though). It is information gleaned from watching interviews, transcripts from the debates, their websites, news sources (NYTimes and Washington Post, just to be equally biased), etc. I'm now at six pages, with one issue left to research.

Last night I found flowers outside my door. Happy Valentine's Day! (This company has the most breathtaking flowers; their dried wreaths are to die for.)

Pain

Last night, I spent forty long and painful minutes on the telephone with my dad, talking politics. Oh. My. Fucking. Hell. This afternoon, it still feels like I went to the dentist and had all my teeth pulled out with no anesthesia.

A Super Tuesday Ten

In honor of Super Tuesday, I thought I'd whip up ten of my favorite quotes from our lovely host of candidates.

1. Mike Huckabee:  "I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it is a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that's what we need to do, is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards, rather than change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family." (So, Mikey... would stoning adulterers and killing witches be inserted before or after the Freedom of Religion amendment?)

2. Mitt Romney: "I want our kids to know how to Google and Yahoo and everything else, so that when they do a report on George Washington, they don't have to go to the encyclopedia, but they can go to the Wikipedia and they can learn what's happening on an online basis as kids around the world are doing." (Um, Mitt... the Wikipedia is not really known for being a bastion of thoroughness. Maybe you checked out the Wikipedia definition for the Wikipedia and saw how cool it was!)

3. Hillary Clinton: "It did take a Clinton to clean up after the first Bush, and I think it might take a second one to clean up after the second Bush." (Snort! That's all... just... Snort!)

4. Barack Obama: "I respect that John McCain, in the first two rounds of Bush tax cuts, said it is irresponsible that we have never before cut taxes at the same time as we're going into war. And somewhere along the line, the "Straight Talk Express" lost some wheels and now he is in favor of extending Bush tax cuts that went to some of the wealthiest Americans who don't need them and were not even asking for them." (Senator thinks John McCain could use the political equivalent of AAA.)

5. John McCain: “Only the most deluded of us could doubt the necessity of this war.” (Was he sniffing white-out fluid before he said this, or having an afternoon tryst with GW?)

6. Mike Huckabee: "And the ultimate thing is, I may not be the expert that some people are on foreign policy, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night." (Ummmmm, WTF does that have to do with anything, asshat?)

7. Mitt Romney: "My sons are all adults and they've made decisions about their careers and they've chosen not to serve in the military and active duty and I respect their decision in that regard. One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president." (But he still wants our troops to stay... hey, Mitt, the soldiers are committing suicide too quickly... can you spare a couple of your sons for Second-String?)

8. Hillary Clinton: "I'm sick and tired of people who say that if you debate and disagree with this administration, somehow you're not patriotic. We need to stand up and say we're Americans, and we have the right to debate and disagree with any administration." (I'll bet the same twatwaffles who threatened the Dixie Chick's lives for being unpatriotic (Freedom of Speech, hello?) could spew verbatim our right to bear arms.)

9. Barack Obama: "What Washington needs is adult supervision." (No kidding, Barack, I'm glad you're offering!)

10. John McCain: "The United States military could stay in Iraq for maybe a hundred years and that would be fine with me." (That's nice, Senator. We've decided to start drafting men over 50.)

**Favorite Presidential Quote not made by a Presidential candidate, made by the character Grace on "Will & Grace":  "I had another sex dream last night. This time, I was in the shower with Barack Obama. And... O-bama! He was ba-rockin' my world!"

A note on the Dems, and a couple of gems

Anybody watch Hillary and Barack last night? I heard the first 30 or 45 minutes on XM but I haven't gotten to watch it on DirecTV yet. I'm looking forward to hearing it, since their views are seemingly so similar on a lot of issues. I do plan on posting my impressions, but I have a bazillion errands to run today, and we have an appointment in Dallas tonight, so it may be tomorrow or Sunday.

I did want to make mention of the abominable new lows to which overseas terrorists in Baghdad are stooping. Where do people come up with an idea like: "Hey, let's strap up a couple of mentally retarded women, send them into the city's pet market, then blow them up by remote control?"  It's also pissing me off that some of the media are calling them "suicide bombers." I'm sorry, but I don't see mentally handicapped women making that sort of decision; this was murder, pure & evil.

And, speaking of evil, ask me how badly Exxon and their record profits make me want to vomit. Go ahead, just ask.

Finally, just consider the photo included in this article. Where's the grass these cows are supposed to be grazing on? Trees for shade? A pond or two? This is what we subject a majority of the nation's cattle to during their final days & weeks, just for a tasty burger. Pasture fed-and-finished beef is readily available nationwide now; there's no excuse for feedlots.

Karl Rove---Asshat Extraordinaire

I'm just now reading up on Karl Rove's latest act of American political history revision. His claim?

The evil, dirty Democrats pushed President Bush into the war. He didn't want it.

W... T... F...?!?! Is this man fucking furreals?

My favorite summary of the charge (from the Crooks & Liars website):

Yes, the truth finally comes out — the tyrannical, warmongering Tom Daschle was out on the news shows in 2002, beating the drums of war and eventually the Bush administration, with his boot to their throat, relented and let the Democrats have their war.

Dear Barack:

My Mini-Meez over to the left is my tentative endorsement for you for POTUS. There are a few things we need to find common ground on, though, before I can put a bumper sticker on my car. 'Cause, you know that's a commitment and all.

My biggest beef with you? No, it's not that you're a smoker, although when we go out for lunch, I will make you sit in the non-smoking section. It's that, regardless of all your good looks and brains, you still seem to succumb to stupidity and illogical thinking when it comes to corn-based ethanol. I've already pointed out just a few itty bitty reasons that's a bad idea. Don't you read this blog?!?! Heh.

Anyway, you're going to have to grow a spine or a set of brass balls & stand up to the lobbyists who are pressuring you from all sides to give in to the hypnotism of corn-based ethanol. It's just bad. We'll talk about our other differences soon. I don't want to put too much on your plate right now.

Hugs & kisses,
~L.

P.S. You might catch my Mini Meez on a day when she is doing something other than holding her campaign sign, but she'll periodically return to being your bitch.

I really, really tried.

Well, we just got back from a week-long vacation in The Great Smoky Mountains. In the mountains of Tennessee, in a cabin in the middle of the woods, in The Land of Zero Bars and no technology. With my folks, my sis, and my brother's little girl (and my bro for a couple of days at the end), who are all from my home state of Georgia. Now, you may be thinking this sounds wonderful and fantastic and peaceful and cotton candy soft-focus snapshots & all, but it's not. Not this time, not last time, and probably not next time.

The first problem is that I think maybe I was adopted from wandering hippy gypsies, and my parents must be horrified that my genetic predisposition to Democratic Thinking has prevailed despite all their best efforts. They are very Republican in a lot of their views; my dad even still supports Shrubya, I think. Two-thirds of their children turned out great, staunchly Republican and free from the evil of Open Minds (A Diva Cup? Gross! says my 40-y.o. sister... and we won't even start with my brother, who has an AK47 for "protection", or "target practice", I forget which it is...).

The second problem is that we have nothing in common except love for one another. And that is what is so. Damn. Frustrating. Alina over at Closet Environmentalist (who also just had a vacation with family, albeit just a weekend) said something in a recent post that made the little inspiration light (fluorescent, of course) switch on in my head. It sums up all of my feelings toward this vacation and this little band of Republicans I lovingly call my family. "It was," she said, "experiencing a lifestyle that seems so distant now, and so capitally opposed to everything I stand for. It is hard to face the facts. How can something that means so much to me be so insignificant to everyone else?"

I worked so hard, having been "in charge" of food, to have packed local and organic goods as much as possible, including local meats; homemade jellies and jams; hand-picked fruit; organic milk, cheese, and butter; and organic snacks like Newman-O's and Garden of Eatin' cheesy poofs. What I did not pack, obviously, was what really mattered. I mean, I didn't pack the bottled water that my mother thinks she has to have (If you had well water, why would you "need" bottled?!?!), so they had to go to the store to buy that. And I didn't pack bottled Lipton Diet Citrus Green Tea (which is nothing more than sugar water & artificial flavor with green food coloring) that my sister likes (how old did I say she is?), so those had to be bought. I didn't pack honeybuns or Otis Spunkmeyer cookies or anything with caffeine, which my dad craves to the point of headaches, so we had to get those. I didn't pack hotdogs (nor any oppressed pig product) that is one of my niece's (and, admittedly, most every small child's) food groups. I didn't pack any Coke products or Doritos that my brother wanted, and wanted to give to his baby girl, who wasn't too impressed with our all-natural sodas. And I didn't bring Kleenex Viva paper towels to use on every slop & spill (One roll of recycled paper towels...for nine people...for a whole week? And what are those cloth things you brought? But M. gets Boxtops for Education points on the wrapper of these...just send her a friggin' dollar to school & save the trees!) I apparently just fucked up the whole food situation.

And, like the good consumers that we are trained to be, a trip was made to the very-nearby IGA to get every single-serving plastic-encased drink and every flavor of chip and Little Debbie snack cake available. I really don't want to be sounding hypocritical (but hypercritical is definitely intended), since I'm sure I had to have something from the grocery store while we were there (although I really cannot remember what, past replacement milk and bread). I know I bought about seven pounds of fudge when we made the trip into Gatlinburg to the Ripley's Aquarium. I know I consumed, too. But I really, really tried. And I wanted everyone else to be impressed that I tried. And I wanted them to be inspired to try, too.

But they just aren't there, yet. And I still love 'em. My dad & I had great discussions about The Evil That is Wal-Mart (where he is still stuck working at 63 just to keep the insurance for my mother, who will eventually have to have a liver transplant, but there's no guarantee when). My mother asked a few questions about the foods. My brother and I talked about The Evil That is Big Oil and why it's still important to mindfully choose which station you visit even though all the gasoline is coming from the same substations. My sister is getting curiouser and curiouser about my sources that led me to hate Wal-Mart with a passion. So, they're meandering slowly in the general direction of the beginnings of maybe wanting to start learning a little more. But they just aren't there, yet.

But I really, really tried.