Do You Realize?

New Year, New Stuff

Hello, faithful (and not-so-faithful-but-who-could-blame you) reader(s)! I've had one or two kind people tell me they miss my blog. Thank you. To be honest, I miss my blog. I haven't written in a good long while, mainly because I've been content, but I miss it. So, my New Year's resolution is to start the blog up again, even though I'm still happy. How's that sound?

Don't answer that so quickly in the positive. The second most asked question I've been getting from Facebook friends lately is: How did you make those amazing looking Jello shots you have photos of from New Year's eve? So, today I'll share with you the wisdom of Jello shots. See? All that excitement over the return of my wit & wisdom, now wasted on Jello shots. Sorry.

As you may imagine, Eldest is home from college. When she learned we would be going to  Paul & Vera's for New Year's Eve, she made the oh-so-collegiate suggestion of making Jello shots. As someone had made some at a not-that-long-ago party and I remembered them being somewhat of a crowd-pleaser, even with our mostly-middle-aged friends, I decided that might be a fun, if not exactly good, idea. But, I also decided I wasn't going to produce boring, half-assed Jello shots either; if I'm putting in the time and effort to do this, mine will be memorable.

Via a website that would make your inner science geek laugh out loud with drunken glee, one which used the scientific method for making Jello shots, I found some scientific tips for some decidedly above average flavored Jello shots. I also found some tips that should be common sense to anyone with taste buds and a shady past: apparently Jello shots made with gin or bourbon taste like ass. Umm, I could have told you that, and I didn't even have to waste the time, money, or effort to make the damn things!

So, armed with scientific justification, I headed to the liquor store. An hour or so and several wasted stops later, I began to cook. Following you will find the basics of Jello shots, interjected with all the tongue in cheek you can stand.

1. Don't assume you have enough room in the fridge for Jello shots. Be prepared to take out the milk, orange juice, butter and/or eggs in order to make room, hopefully a whole shelf. Don't take out the wine. Simply relocate it to another shelf; milk and OJ are more dispensable.

 

2. The basic recipe for Jello shots is 8 oz. boiling liquid (generally not alcohol if you want good-tasting shots), small pkg. of Jello, and 8 oz. of cold liquid (alcohol, schnapps, or alcohol/water if the alcohol is strong enough. This can be manipulated in many surprising ways. For example, I used Starbuck's espresso roast coffee for the boiling water and used unflavored gelatin to make a super yummy coffee/Frangelico/Starbuck's creme liqueur concoction.

3. There are a few options for dispensaries for Jello shots: real shot glasses (not an option if you're making 120 Jello shots in 8 flavors), little paper pill cups that are used in hospitals everywhere (which your husband should NOT be asked to obtain, even if he is a doctor and should be able to hook you up), or little plastic cups (which come in teenie weenie 1 oz., which I think some hospitals might use, and don't have lids, or 2 oz., which are used by restaurants nationwide and are called "portion cups" or "souffle cups" and have handy lids, making for easy stacking). We finally found our cups at the liquor store, of all places; I guess savvy liquor store owners know that their clientele might need Jello shot cups.

 

4. A tip that I did NOT get until it was too late, and one that will definitely be used next time? Turn the cups upside down before refrigerating. Otherwise, most will need to employ the "Finger First" method of eating the Jello shot (see below). Tipsy, this isn't a big deal. Sober, some may be squeamish. Drunk, some may not be able to pull this off.

5. For maximum fun, make a variety of flavors and colors. I used a variety of liquors and liqueurs and had a good representation of color from the rainbow. Be creative.

6. Still have Jello shots well into the party? Play a drinking game with them! We used a very simple, but very fun, game that someone brought (which I've played many times, sans alcohol, and it was still fun), and after two rounds, we were making headway! After all was said and done, we had approximately ten of our one hundred twenty shots still standing.

7. Do not assume that just because something is a liqueur and not liquor that it isn't strong. I didn't get the hint that 99 Bananas liqueur was 99 proof. Mixed with (New!) Tropical Fusion flavored Jello, it produced a shot that barely gelled at the normal recipe proportions and did amazing puckery things to people's faces .

8. Do not play drinking games with two different sized shots. Some will invariably insist on reaching for the teenie weenie size when it's their turn to man up.

9. Coffee-flavored shots are good when dropped in a cup of coffee. They melt immediately & give you super-caffeinated, somewhat alcoholic goodness in a mug.

10. Berry Blue jello, while very pretty, really tastes like kitty ass, and therefore makes shots that sort of resemble kitty ass and turpentine. Or kitty ass and suntan lotion, if you happen to mix it with Malibu coconut rum. I will continue a quest to find something that tastes decent with it because of its important addition to the color variety, but I'm not really hopeful.

 

For those who want specific recipes, I don't remember specifics, as I was really just winging it myself. Generally, if I used a low-alcohol-content schnapps, I used 3/4 cup with 1/4 cup vodka to bolster the potency as the cold liquid. If you use high-alcohol-content liquor (or, you know, 99 Bananas liqueur), it might be wise to use water to cut the potency if you're aiming for palatable. The final flavors (and our clever names for them)? Maliblu (Berry Blue Jello with Malibu coconut rum), Cherry Cordial (black cherry Jello with vodka), Schnapps My Cherry (cherry Jello with Peach schnapps/vodka), Sour Midori (Melon Fusion Jello with Midori/sweet & sour mix/vodka), Emerald City (lime Jello with Midori/vodka), Tropicana (Tropical Fusion Jello with 99 Bananas liqueur), Just Peachy (apricot Jello with Peach schnapps/vodka), and Starbuck (unflavored gelatin, coffee, Starbuck's creme liqueur, and Frangelico).

Since I would be a bad person if I didn't state the obvious, don't consume all these Jello shots & think you can drive. They have more alcohol than you think in them. Have a Designated Driver, walk, or take a cab. Be safe. That is all.

Me, Me, Me, Meme

I was tagged for this meme by Byrning Bunny, one of my favorite bloggers. She has a blog where she participates in many memes, from Green Thumb Sunday to Unconscious Mutterings. She is intelligent, an animal-lover and gardenre like me, and she has the cutest little boy ever. Go see for yourself. Anyway, here are the rules:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning of the post.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves in their post.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

The Questions:

1. What was I doing ten years ago?
   I was filling in for Youngest's Pre-K teacher, who was on maternity leave.
2. What are five things on my to do list for today?
   Just five? Grocery shopping, mopping, mowing the lawn, planning a menu for fifteen for the next almost-a-week, picking Poogan up from the veterinary hospital.
3. Snacks I enjoy?
   Devil's food cupcakes with Duncan Hines fluffy white frosting.... mmmm.... Lucky Layla drinkable yogurts (especially pina colada, with its chunks of coconut and pineapple), peanut butter and apples.
   
4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire?
   Oh, geez. Let's see. First, we would pay off our debts and the debts of our parents and siblings. We would set aside enough money for all the kids' college educations.  I would go back to college myself. We would finish the repairs on our house, sell it, and move to a little plot of land large enough for my animals to run around on, preferably in Vermont. I would open at least one non-profit, no-kill animal shelter. I would travel to New Guinea to study their indigenous birds. I would go back to Italy. I would travel around the world volunteering and photographing natural disasters to raise awareness and support for relief. It's too early to really think about this one yet. Show me the money first, bitches!
5. Three of my bad habits?
   Are you kidding? I don't have any bad habits! LOL! Okay, maybe a couple... Let's see... I can be an incredible pig; my husband hates to ride in my car. I curse like a sailor. I sometimes hold grudges.
6. Five places I have lived?
   I'm quite boring. I've only lived in two cities my entire life. How about houses? The houses in which I've lived were never boring. They all have stories.
   
   1. I've lived in the place where I grew up, Booger Hollow, on 200+ acres of beautiful forested land in the middle of nowhere.
   2. The first house where hubby, the kids & I lived was a little gingerbread house on a corner of a neighborhood called Saddle Mountain. We loved that house, but we never took the option to buy it, mainly because of needed updating and plans to widen the highway in front of it. Eight years later, that highway is exactly the same as it was when we lived there. Damn.
   3. The first house we owned had some great features, like floor-to-12-foot-ceiling windows, which I adored. The walls of the living room were buttery yellow, which is my favorite color. But it took us over a year to sell it because it was synthetic stucco, and people had heard horror stories of real stucco houses in the south rotting from the inside when termites got behind it. That house, by the way, is still standing; no termites have eaten it to the foundation.
   4. When we moved out to Texas, we moved into a house we'd never seen before. The weekend hubby & I were supposed to have found a house, he had a terrible car accident on his way to work the day before leaving.
   5. This is our third house in eight years. We hate it. More specifically, we hate the people from whom we bought it. I guess the guy was a friend of an inspector, because we've since found so many fucking problems an inspector should have found. We currently only use one shower, as water drips liberally through to the downstairs when we use it. I just took down some of our plantation shutters only to discover that the door had once had double-paned glass, one of which had been broken out, with shards left around the edges. To make matters worse, they had painted the trim since breaking the glass and just left the glass shards there, painting over them. Un-freaking-believable.
7. Five jobs I have had?
   My first job was opening a Dress Barn; I worked as a cashier at Kroger; I worked as an assistant to the marketing director of our mall; I worked as a server in many restaurants; and as a dining room manager in two of them; and I managed and taught classes at a scrapbook supply store.
8. How did you name your blog? I adore the premise of this Flaming Lips song about life and death and the impermanence of it all, and that's where I got it. If you haven't heard it, I'd highly suggest listening to it.

Okay. Tagging. Does it say how many we have to tag? Here goes: Blue Like the Sky, RedMolly, Tenuous at Best, and while I totally don't expect anything to come of it, I'd love to see Crystal's answers, over at Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper. I occasionally stalk her blog for hours at a time. She makes me laugh. A lot. I'll go tell them I tagged them when I get back from my 100-mile-round-trip to Youngest's school & Whole Foods. Or, if you make it here before then, don't make me do all the work... get posting! Heh.

A Tuesday Ten--Family Stampede Edition

I don't think I've mentioned it yet, but my family is coming out to Texas. Remember them? They will all be here, PLUS my aunt (Hey, Mimi! ) and my two rambunctious cousins, along with my dad's mother. Nine people. For almost a week. They'll be here tomorrow in time for dinner, I'm hoping. There's still a lot to do to get ready for them, especially my mom, who has special needs post-transplant. So today, to help me clarify things for myself, here are ten things I still need to do to prepare for my family's arrival:

1. Go to Whole Foods. Lots of fruit is on the agenda. And a water filter; there will be no bottled water, except Sigg bottles of our water.

2. Take the cockatiel to the vet's office and move the finch to our upstairs bathroom. My mom can't be around birds post-transplant. They stir up dust and potentially carry parasites that my mom doesn't need to be exposed to. I think my kids do, too; I wonder if the vet will take them, too?

3. Change the air filters on the air conditioners & vacuum. Sneeze less.

4. Visit Poogan in the hospital today. She will probably come home tomorrow, looking so fantastically like a Frankendoggie. I'm telling my little cousins and niece that she was being too loud and running around too much, so we cut off her leg; now sit down and SHHHHHHHH!

5. Finish shoving shit in the coat closet cleaning the downstairs. Clean the downstairs bathroom.

6. Mop floors. Obsess over a more efficient way to clean floors. If you're sticking the mop back into the dirty mop water, aren't you just swirling the dirt around on the floors?

7. Mow the lawn. Get some Agent Orange and kill this fucking nutsedge that's attacking my yard & gardens.

8. Move a different television set out to the outdoor bar. We're spending a lot of time out back, especially now that it's pretty. The other one isn't digital & we haven't cleaned behind it since we've lived here, and so to kill two birds with one stone, we took it out; I cleaned behind it, and we're replacing it with one of the kids' digital ones.

9. Plan the party we're having with our friends and family this weekend. Take a Xanax while thinking about almost twenty extra people in my house, smelling the ferrets (Oh! Clean the ferret cage is on the list, too!), inspecting my never-too-perfectly-mopped floors, noticing the dust I missed... yeah, okay, I know, they aren't really actually furrealz doing all that shit, but they are doing it in my freaking head, okay?!?!?

10. Did I mention take a Xanax?

Catching up...

It's Memorial Day, people. Today's post will have nothing to do with Memorial Day, or even anything terribly deep and meaningful. Please read last year's Memorial Day post for deep and meaningful; it's one of my favorite posts ever.

I spent the weekend at a Westin Resort with six of my girlfriends, getting spa treatments and mani/pedis; drinking wine, and vodka and grapefruit, and Midori sours; making some beautiful and creative jewelry; getting in touch with our inner authors; and generally letting our proverbial hair down without the company of husbands or children. Since I did that, I seem to be unwilling or unable to really get back into the swing of "real life," thus the short post. Today, I'm chillin'. Well, at least until Youngest wakes up and it's time to climb on the Bipolar Pony and ride.

Thirteen Things...

...that I'm thinkin' 'bout on Thursday...

1. ...winners from my Blogiversary Giveaways! Congrats to Jeff at Biking Duluth (Greenies & Pet Promise dog food sample), Caroline in NH at Fiber Arts & Furry Critters (Bush's Last Day keychain), Hootin' Anni (CD of ten of my photographic images), Andree at Meeyau (Feline Greenies & Pet Promise cat food sample), Molly at RedMolly Picayune-Democrat (a copy of Diane MacEachern's book Big Green Purse), and Anonymous Mom at Tenuous at Best (handcrafted journal)! If I don't hear from each of you within 24 hours, I will contact you. I'm asking until next Saturday (hopefully won't need that long) to get everything ready to ship.

2. ...my complete and utter domination at the art of oatmeal. I have mastered my "perfect oats." No extra liquid, but not too dry either. MMMMM.

3. ...philosophical subjects like evil and faith. I've determined that the basis for one's faith in an idea or entity is a positive and memorable event that the person attributes, whether correctly or incorrectly, to that idea or entity. For example, my husband sees, on a regular basis, the healing and saving of lives. He attributes that to the science of medicine; his faith, therefore, lies in the scientific.

4. ...suicide. Not mine, no. The book I'm reading, Jodi Picoult's The Pact, is about a failed teen suicide pact, where the surviving teen is charged with murder.

5. ...how terrible I am at poker. Some friends of ours have bought a table at a local "Casino Night" fundraiser and have graciously asked Hubby & I to go. I know not a damn thing about poker, but I will throw down with the best of them when intoxicated, I'm sure.

6. ...Texas's crazy caucusing. We voted early to avoid voting day crowds, but then had to go out anyway for the caucusing portion of the night.

7. ...how terrifyingly easy it is to imagine Youngest as a drug addict. He has a very addictive personality anyway, and a bipolar individual's risk of addiction to drugs or alcohol is much higher than that of a normally functioning person. At thirteen, his drug of choice is Runescape or the Playstation 3; he will do anything, self-destructive or otherwise, to get his fix. Seeing his desperation while in Austin last weekend with limited Internet availability was truly amazing.

8. ...our freakish weather. It's snowing again. Hard. Remember, I was talking about the weather yesterday?

9. ...how hitting an already-dead, but still fresh, skunk on the highway is very, very bad. Very bad, indeed. I also discovered why so many of them seem to be hit on the road. Nearly impossible to see until the last minute. Poor buggers.

10. ...organ donation. My mom is down in Florida at a post-transplant checkup. She's doing amazingly well!

11. ...photography. I mentioned it's snowing again, right?

12. ...the Project Runway season finale last night. As I fully expected, Christian kicked ass. His clothes, while not designed for the everyday woman, were exquisite concoctions, full of ruffles and feathers. His runway music killed, too (created and arranged by Anonymous Mom's not-so-anonymous talented son). Way to go, Christian! I just want to eat him up like a cookie, he's so freakin' cute.

13. ...how I SO don't want to do the laundry and mop the floors.

Edited to add: I drove for six hours to accomplish what would usually take three.

In the Holiday Spirit(s)

Once upon a time, my husband & I would have never even thought about going to holiday parties. We're friendly people, you see, just not social people. This year we have/will attend three. Three different friends, three very different parties.

The first party we attended was a conservative affair, hosted by very conservative friends. Dressy, formal home, no babies/little kids, piano player, catered, a little wine & beer. Perfectly lovely. I even clean up pretty well & put on a good show of being civilized, and I never once goaded anyone into talking politics or religion. We love these friends (also our orthodontist... all three kids and hubby), and despite our huge differences of opinion regarding politics and religion, they've never made us feel uncomfortable when we talk about it. (We think maybe we are their only liberal friends, though.)

The second party we attended? Lots of boisterous adults, kids playing Guitar Hero, handmade (and bought) munchies, disco, and plenty of alcoholic cheer. No one thought twice about my letting Eldest have one drink even though she's underage (we're those "bad" parents who teach moderation and responsible use, not abstinence). I had waaaay too much alcohol (at last count, 8 Midori Sours, 3 Buttery Nipples, 2 vodka jello shots, and a glass of Muscato), and a lot of fun. The host, also a doctor, offered a thousand bucks to the first person to swim one pool length in their underwear. We are definitely not their only liberal friends.

The last gathering we'll attend (she would die before calling it a party) will be a Festivus celebration. In my friend's words, "when I care enough to do the very least." Complete with Festivus pole and food (and wine) from boxes, this party is always very laid-back and comfy. We can sit in the living room or in the floor & drink a glass of wine; we can dress up or dress down. It's all good. It won't be rowdy, and there will be plenty of intelligent conversations going on.

Here's to friends of all age, intelligence, religion, political affiliation, and sexual orientation. None of us would be who we are without them!

A Trippin' Ten List

It's been awhile since I've done a Tuesday Ten List (yes, I know it's now Thursday... our internet is acting fickle), and there's so much to share about my trip to Oregon, I decided to shove some of it all together. And so, here (in no particular order) are: Ten Terrific Things about the Trip.

1. Meeting my friend RedMolly (yes, I think of that as all one word, for some reason) in person for the first time. We had a splendid dinner at The Farm Cafe and then met up with her supercool sweetie & their boys for dessert. Here we are:
 

2. Staying with my friend Kelly, who is lucky enough to spend summers with this view out her front door:

3. Voodoo Doughnut, in Portland. They have the weirdest, wildest doughnuts I have ever heard of. I had the Grape Ape (glazed with vanilla frosting, grape drink powder, and grape sprinkles) and a Maple Bacon Bar (glazed with maple frosting and two pieces of bacon). Despite all my gustatory reservations, they were quite tasty, and very interesting: 

4. The Farm Cafe. Speaking of all things gustatory, this place is beyond measure. We started with a brie baked with honey and fresh berries, then fresh corn risotto with smoked bleu cheese.

5. Recreating above-mentioned baked brie with Kelly & eating it on the porch, watching the sun set (see photo from #2).

6. The Portland Rose Garden, where I snagged this photo, among others:

7. The Portland Japanese Garden, where I could have stayed for hours and hours and hours and still be discovering beautiful niches I hadn't yet seen.

8. Averaging 42mpg on my road trip home in my "deer" car Pru:

9. The Peace Fence in Ashland. I don't know how far it stretches (a looooooong way), but it involves hand-designed cloth panels expressing sentiments of peace for our planet. It is a lovely idea, and it transforms a plain chain-link fence into a beautiful piece of art.

10. Hanging out for an hour or so with three complete strangers in Ashland's Lithia Park. I asked if I could photograph them, they agreed, and soon we were all sitting around talking about all things environmental. Very refreshing, and it made me want to be an idealistic 20-something modern hippie child all over again.

Leaving again

Today, I'm headed to Portland to see my friend RedMolly. We're eating dinner at a yummy-sounding restaurant that specializes in local and organic foods.

Tomorrow, I'm headed to Ashland to see another friend. And to Medford, to pick up Prudence. She will look like this:

(This image is not my own, and is not copyrighted by me.)

Small Victories and Little Defeats

I have spent most of my weekend with several girlfriends in the city. We have painted (even those of us who were self-conscious of our abilities), laughed, chatted, dined, and drank. It's been a weekend of letting our hair down, for sharing, for escaping for two days the haste at home. I have taken one art jewelry workshop, and I still have one creative assemblage workshop tonight.

In the midst of it all, I have remained aware of things that, once upon a time, I wouldn't have even noticed. In terms of environmental issues, it has been a series of small victories and little defeats. All part of that learning curve I've talked about.

The victories? I will be able to recycle the two newspapers, either in the recycle bin at home or in my birds' cages. When I knocked over a tiny blossom vase at breakfast yesterday, no napkins were used to wipe it up; I used my blue surgical hand towel from my purse. I didn't use a napkin for breakfast; I used my cloth napkin. My weekend thus far has been almost entirely meatless (the one exception being a cup of chicken tortilla soup last night).

The defeats? I forgot my own shampoo & soap, so I used the hotel's (I used the same ones both days, and I will use the rest of the shampoo at home, as well as use the bottle in an art project). There was, as would be expected, some unnecessary waste in the art class, lots of baby wipes used. Yesterday's breakfast was in a small waste-based (I like that word) cafe, with paper cups and plastic to-go containers (she put my blueberry muffin in one before I even knew what was happening, but I still have it in my bag for the recycle bin at home). Did I mention I ate meat once?

I have come to believe that sometimes the point of all this is not to be victorious at every opportunity, but to be mindful of our environment (our immediate surroundings, not The Environment) so that we can at least learn from our little defeats. Be aware of the newspaper you are reading, where it came from, where it will go. Be aware of your food, where it came from, where it will go. I think that by doing this, I like to think we will all become more appreciative of our lives in general, and that, my friends, will be an immeasurably large victory for all of us.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

As much as I hate to disagree with The Bangles, Fridays are MY Fun Days... my I-don't-have-to-run-days... Every Friday morning, a gaggle of us gals descend upon Panera Bread at eight-ish and roost there until the lunch crowd starts coming in & we realize our butts are numb for a reason. Having friends is a fantastic feeling.

I should probably have started this post by noting that I am NOT a social person. As my hubby & I like to say, "I'm friendly, just not social." There's a BIG difference. Once you force a social situation upon me, I have fun and feel disgusted at myself for being such a hermit; once it's over, I think about the fun I had and then become a hermit again. The most ironic thing is that no one ever suspects this about me; I can fake it with the best of them.

Luckily for me, Mark & I decided to force upon ourselves a social gathering back in December; it was a KERA community support gathering at a fellow M.D.'s house. We were excited about the prospect of public radio in Sherman, and we thought we would step out of our hermit shells for a few hours. Little did I realize that I would find a group of friends that I would click with so instantly. (I've had a friend or two like that before, but, sadly, it's been a couple of years since I last saw them.)

There's Risa. She is my environmental motivator. She & I have so much in common. We are both nature-lovers (she can name more tree & bird species than I've heard of). We are both eco-warriors. We are both very atypical doctor's wives. We are Democrats. Our children are older than the others'. We are both artistic. We are both people-pleasers (especially when it comes to our families). One big difference? I've been told she sings like a nightingale, and I can't carry a tune in a bucket!

There's Vivienne. She is my shiny, happy sunshine; she is so much fun. She, too, is an artist. She's also an antithetical doctor's wife. She has about as many animals as we do. She's as liberal as they come. She's very down-to-earth, and she has an amazing sense of humor. She's Welsh, and she has the loveliest British accent. She already has at least one college degree, and she's going back for something totally different, which I admire enormously.

There's Kelly. She is my biggest cheerleader; she has so much faith in me, so much more than I have in myself. She has my sense of humor, very irreverent. She is the source of the funniest fodder from the Internet. She is so very smart, and she loves words like I do. We both love Scrabble. She's also very Democratic. I always find myself wishing I were as relaxed as she is; she says she is in her "Fuck-it-all Forties." She makes me wish I weren't still in my "Thin-skinned Thirties."

There are others that I don't yet know as well as Risa, Vivienne, or Kelly. They each have their own set of lovely qualities to add to our little group. And we are always growing; it's a sign of a healthy symbiosis.

These are the people with whom I spend my Friday mornings, and, sometimes we spend an evening or a weekend with some combination thereof. These are the women that keep me smiling, laughing, and motivated throughout the week. These are the people whose email addresses I search for first when checking my in-box. These are the women that get me through the week when I think I might not be able. These are my friends.