Do You Realize?

Of Dogs and Death

It's 4:35 a.m., and I'm sitting in my living room, listening to our dog struggle mightily to take in enough oxygen to keep her little body alive. My husband & I were in bed, with Poogan at our feet making the same brave attempts to breathe, taking turns lying down beside her and in our regular positions in bed. As we lay there with our heads next to hers, petting on her, my husband posed an interesting idea, one that some might find painful. The idea was simply this: Might Poogan be more comfortable downstairs, instead of on the bed? We made the decision to go downstairs. We put Poogan in the floor, in the spot where she loves to lie, and we went to the sofa to camp. She's moved about downstairs as she wishes, and, not surprisingly, she's not stayed with us for more than a couple of minutes.

This was so hard for us to do. As human pet owners, with human emotions and attachments, we want to be there with our pets for every one of their last moments. But do they want us there? We like to think that, yes, they are put at ease by having us there, but I actually think the opposite might be true. I think having us there, hovering, doting, worrying, only adds to any anxiety they may be feeling. They are dogs, and dogs are not humans. We share some of the same emotions, yes, but not our attitudes of death.

Think of how dogs choose to die, if given the choice. Alone. Away from their pack. Even domestic dogs do this. I grew up with animals, and I could never understand my parent's gentle but mysterious explanations when a dog "went off to die." But I've always known that they do. And yet, in a dog's final moments, we still want to "be there for her (or him)." In times of grief, rational thought need not apply.

When I die, I do, indeed, want my "pack" around me. I don't think I want to be alone. But, then, I'm only human.

Tripawed Tuesday

As you may recall, Poogan was officially tripawed on Monday of last week, because of a soft tissue sarcoma. I am officially in awe of this dog's (and every animal's really, as they are so much tougher than we humans) resiliency. Day One post-returning-home saw her able to go upstairs on her own; by Day Three she could also go downstairs, a much tougher task when the paw missing is a front paw. By Day Five, she could jump up onto and down from the sofa and eat from her bowl in the floor (another tricky one, requiring more balance than one would imagine). On Day Six, two days ago, I can officially say she made my heart swell with joy and pride.

Every evening, around 7 or 8 o'clock, we walk the dogs. They all seem to know what time it is, and the indoor dogs all get excited when they see us head for the back door to gather the leashes. Lorcan starts sneezing uncontrollably, Nibbles starts tap-dancing in circles, and Poogan winds up her Jack-Nicholson-in-The-Shining-smile (you know, when you can see her last molars and her eyes take on a slight smidge of madness).

Every day up until Sunday, Poogan didn't show much interest at walk time, but Sunday, she lined up with everyone else, channeling Jack in full force. She's still not wearing a collar, so I couldn't leash her up, but I figured, "Hey, she's missing a leg. We can catch her if she decides to run off." We also fully expected to carry her most of the way. Not a chance. She was very good to stay with the pack, but when her feet hit grass she was bounding like a puppy. She made it almost all the way around the block before I made hubby pick her up & carry her; she likely would have kept going but she was panting pretty hard, and I didn't want to risk her overdoing it.

Watching her return to her former self and abilities has been an inspiring lesson in sticktoitiveness. It's amazing to see her nonchalant response to a slip of the paw and resulting face-plant. A human's reaction would include self-consciousness and embarrassment, but all she thinks about is trying again to get it right. We all could learn something from our courageous canine counterparts. Here's to you, Poogan!

(This photo was taken on Sunday morning, when Poogan decided we should just lie in the driveway for fifteen minutes or so and enjoy the breeze and the quiet at 7:00 a.m. She's so wise; it was lovely.)

P.S. On a totally unrelated note, Middle, his girlfriend, and I rented Cloverfield last night. While I liked the movie, it was no better for sensitive stomachs on a television than the big screen. I missed a half hour or so while I regurgitated my dinner, my lunch, and my breakfast, and possibly even dinner from the night before. Dramamine, people, Dramamine. They weren't lying.

A Tuesday Ten--Got Milk? Edition

On Saturday, Hubby & I spent several hours at a local farm whose incredibly tasty products we recently fell in love with. I wrote about this yesterday. If you haven't read it yet, do it now. Really. It will make you all warm inside.

During our time there, I learned a lot of new information about dairy production, and I learned a lot of  information I thought I knew about dairy production. Here's what I learned, in no particular order. As you'll soon see, a lot of hot button issues really simply depend on the dairy and their individual practices.

1. Mechanical milking is not necessarily bad for cows. In reality, there is no way to physically express all the milk from a cow's udders by hand milking, nor can a single calf drink all the milk in her udders. A milking machine most efficiently expresses all the milk, reducing a cow's risk of developing mastitis. As Todd Moore (owner/operator of Lavon Farms, which supplies the milk for Lucky Layla Farms' delectable products) pointed out, his cows show up willingly in the mornings at the sound of his voice to be milked. If the machines hurt them, they wouldn't be such willing participants.

2. Different cows satisfy different priorities. Just as different breeds of beef cattle produce different grades of meat, different breeds of dairy cattle serve different purposes. Moore's family farm has been raising Guernsey and Jersey cows since the 1930's. These breeds were chosen, Moore points out, because their milk is of exceptional quality, with high butter-fat and protein content, though the quantity is much less than other breeds. For example, Guernseys & Jerseys produce about five gallons of milk daily, whereas Holsteins produce at least twice that amount but of lower quality.

3. Pasteurization is necessary, but somewhat evil. We tasted raw milk while we were at the farm, and it was absolutely delicious. Unfortunately, the law prohibits any farm that has a creamery from selling raw milk in addition to the finished, pasteurized products, due to possible cross-contamination. Pasteurization, unfortunately, kills a lot of luscious flavor in addition to the germs. If run in a clean, safe manner, dairies can produce raw milk that is as safe as pasteurized, but the law is designed, I'm guessing, to protect consumers from the farms who are operating for quantity of sales, not quality of conditions.

4. "Antibiotic-free" is a marketing ploy which ultimately means nothing. Having organic certification means that we are guaranteed that cows are not being given a steady stream of antibiotics to try to prevent infections, thus possibly increasing antibiotic resistance in humans. Sounds okay so far, right? However, it also means that a farmer cannot give a single round of antibiotics to a cow who has a non-transmissable, but still painful, infection like, say, mastitis. Additionally, milk is so highly regulated that farmers have to submit milk for testing on a regular basis; if any antibiotic is found, the milk isn't accepted. Antibiotics very rarely will ever make it into the food chain; you may as well buy "gasoline-free" milk. Knowing your dairy is very important, as is being able to ask them questions. If you can't find a local dairy, try Organic Valley. They are a sort of co-op situation that works with individual family farms. Horizon Organic may as well be a factory farm; they've been questioned numerous times for pushing the limits of technicalities for their organic certification.

5. The national average lifespan of a dairy cow is a pitiful three years. I wholly believe this is due to the stress of constant antibiotics and growth hormones given to increase productivity; sooner, rather than later, those cow's bodies wear out. Moore's cows live fully twice the national average, and this cow, named Sybil, who was getting ready for an appearance at Whole Foods, is ten years old. And due to calf in June. Happy cows apparently live longer lives. Imagine that.

6. Calves weigh between 40-100 pounds at birth. I never, ever would have guessed this. Looking at these "adolescent" calves, at about 12 weeks old, I wouldn't guess their weight to be 200-400 pounds, either. Guernseys & Jerseys weigh in at adulthood between 1000-1300 pounds.

7. Gestation for cows is nine months, the same as humans. Sometimes human intervention is required for calving, but most often cows handle delivery all on their own. Hubby, who is an anesthesiologist, and I found it quite amusing when Todd relayed that his wife, after giving birth the first time, came home and proclaimed that all the cows should be given epidurals when they labor.

8. Calves do not stay in the pasture with their mothers. The first surprise that greeted us as we drove up the driveway was the area where calves are kept. I wanted to be appalled; after all, the calves are kept tethered to their own individual "cow house" (my term) and the ground cover is large pea gravel, not grass. Upon inquiry, however, we learned that the babies are separated very early to prevent sickness. Just like sending a kid to daycare, if one baby, with a weaker immune system than adults, gets sick, it can spread like wildfire. After 10-12 weeks, the babies are moved to a pasture with other youngsters for a time before heading out with the big cows. The pea gravel was very clean, and the babies were well-fed and well-tended.

9. Horns are removed almost immediately. While many claim it is barbaric, it really is for the safety of the cows. If there is ever a "disagreement," these cows will fight to the death to settle it, so horn removal is necessary if the cows are kept communally in a pasture.

10. Cows are very smart and each has its own distinct personality. Some of them were timid, some of them were curious, some were very loving, and others were simply indifferent. (This one, whom we nicknamed Bucksnort, would snort and hop around if Hubby quit petting on her.) But all of them, Moore insists, are very, very smart. Do not be fooled by the somewhat vacant expressions (I personally consider it "serene," not "vacant"); it's all an act.

Lucky Layla. Lucky Me.

Very recently, during one of my regular trips to Whole Foods, Hubby and I noticed a display of drinkable yogurts, produced by Lucky Layla Farms, complete with a sign proclaiming them to be "Local!" Always happy to support Local! farmers, we picked up six yogurts in different flavors, even though the price was higher than your typical, more widely recognized (read: factory farm) labels. We figured that someone in the family would drink them, even if I wouldn't; I think yogurt tastes pretty gross (and the ickiness factor of the texture is off the charts). We didn't know how right we were.

Normally, when I buy yogurt (even those stupid "kid-flavored" devoid-of-anything-resembling-fruit Gogurt tubes), it languishes in the snack drawer of the fridge for two weeks before the last one is eaten. Our Lucky Layla yogurts were gone in 24 hours. That's one day, people! Even more impressive, I ate one of them... and I tasted everyone else's to test the different flavors... and I didn't barf or get goosebumps because it had a disgusting texture... in fact, I LOVED it!

We all fell in love with Layla that day, whoever she was (turns out she's a champion Guernsey). So much so, in fact, that during a subsequent trip to Whole Foods, we not only restocked on Local! drinkable yogurt, we also bought two types of Local! cheeses made by Lucky Layla Farms, neither of which we had any freaking idea how to use. We only knew that we loved Lucky Layla Farms, and they produced this cheese, and they were Local! so it was all good.

It was during one of these blissful yogurt drinking sessions that I started inspecting the labels of my Lucky Layla Local! yogurt. I couldn't find any indication about whether their cows were treated with Monsanto's (i.e. The Antichrist's) bovine growth hormone. I am disturbed by this additive, and I avoid drinking milk containing it; not enough data exists to fully know its long-term safety. Knowledge is power to me, and not knowing something means I feel quite panicky in certain situations. I need to know.

As such, I needed to know whether Lucky Layla was lucky enough to be rBGH-free. I emailed the two listed contacts on the website, to which I received a rather impressively prompt reply that, "YES!!!! Our cows are rGHB (BST) free. We are all natural from the calf to the cart. We graze our cows and do not use a confinement type operation." Joyous expressions on my part ensued. Then I read further in the email, from Todd Moore (who owns Lavon Farms, which produces the milk for Lucky Layla Farms, the actual creamery). It said, "Please feel free to stop by or e-mail with anymore questions." Oh, Todd, if you only knew; if you invite me, I will come to see a cow.

Through a series of emails with Mr. Moore, I asked if I could possibly, pretty-please come by the farm to take some photos and ask him a few questions. I would love to write about it on my small but clever blog. And so it happened that Hubby and I awoke at six freakin' thirty on a Saturday to make the trip to Lavon Farms.

I could barely contain myself driving up the driveway to the small store/office where I would meet Todd Moore, his wife Deeanna, and their boys. (I also met various parents, which is how a good farm should be. Everyone's a part of the good life.) Seeing cows grazing in a pasture, eating from troughs in a pasture, was heartening; this bucolic existence is too rare in the United States these days, and it is priceless.

During the next three hours, I learned a ton about cows and dairy production, including the politics and "greenwashing" practices of dairy production and the food supply in general. Moore was a great teacher, speaking frankly and patiently enduring all my questions. A lot of myths I, and probably half of America, had previously held were dispelled during that time. (In fact, those misconceptions will be the subject of tomorrow's Tuesday Ten list. It's about time for another one.) I had planned on our trip being something of an interview, which I would type up here, but the more we talked, the more it just became a conversation during which a lot of knowledge was passed (indeed, I grew very powerful).  We very much enjoyed talking with Moore and his family. (Todd, don't be surprised if we show up again soon. You have a new fan club.) Hubby and I left feeling that this was the best use of a Saturday morning we'd had in a good while. I also left with a renewed confidence in my decision to consume dairy products from ethically treated cows; in fact, some of the more rabid PETA activists could stand to learn a thing or two about ethical practices from these folks.

Come back tomorrow to learn Ten Things I Learned About Dairy Production.

A note on the Dems, and a couple of gems

Anybody watch Hillary and Barack last night? I heard the first 30 or 45 minutes on XM but I haven't gotten to watch it on DirecTV yet. I'm looking forward to hearing it, since their views are seemingly so similar on a lot of issues. I do plan on posting my impressions, but I have a bazillion errands to run today, and we have an appointment in Dallas tonight, so it may be tomorrow or Sunday.

I did want to make mention of the abominable new lows to which overseas terrorists in Baghdad are stooping. Where do people come up with an idea like: "Hey, let's strap up a couple of mentally retarded women, send them into the city's pet market, then blow them up by remote control?"  It's also pissing me off that some of the media are calling them "suicide bombers." I'm sorry, but I don't see mentally handicapped women making that sort of decision; this was murder, pure & evil.

And, speaking of evil, ask me how badly Exxon and their record profits make me want to vomit. Go ahead, just ask.

Finally, just consider the photo included in this article. Where's the grass these cows are supposed to be grazing on? Trees for shade? A pond or two? This is what we subject a majority of the nation's cattle to during their final days & weeks, just for a tasty burger. Pasture fed-and-finished beef is readily available nationwide now; there's no excuse for feedlots.

Asking the Wrong Questions

This video has surfaced, prompting people to question whether our beef is safe. It shows a cattle worker torturing a dairy cow who is too sick to walk into the slaughterhouse. (Unless an animal can walk in unassisted, it is not supposed to be slaughtered for human consumption.) Though that is a valid question (for those who don't do buy pasture-raised & finished beef), the question people should be asking is whether humanity itself is safe when there are members who are willing to look into the eyes of a weaker species and then do these things to them. Certainly the possibility of their willingness to treat children the same comes to mind. I'm sure the wives of the two workers pictured here are proud of their husbands.

According to this video, we're just monkeys that can operate forklifts. Animals, just like the others. (Warning to all my religious readers: you will be offended by this video, I'm pretty sure.) This video was passed along to me by a friend of Eldest; Eric, you are quite the fabulously intelligent and charming guy. Dance, monkeys, dance!

Good Old Fashioned Boycotts

My fellow blogger, Shawn, over at Kowai, whom I find very inspirational, has a page on his site that details his personal boycotts. I was happy to see that someone else is involved in their own personal boycotts, and it made me feel less alone in my consumer activism. I think that we are fairly helpless in this capitalistic chess game, but the power that we do have comes from our wallets. We can write letters to these companies all day, but the most effective voice we have is in not buying their products (although a combination of the two is probably the best option of all). I've been meaning to share my personal boycotts with my readers for a while, but I keep forgetting. So, before I forget again, here is a list, in no particular order, of the companies that I despise; a short description of their transgressions; and links to more details.

Kentucky Fried Chicken (and Tyson and Pilgrim's Pride). This is tough for me, because I love their chicken, but I cannot, in good conscience, eat here. The horrors their suppliers inflict on the chickens that we eat is unspeakable, and I cannot address it without tears. Watching the workers throw birds against walls and purposely step on them, watching birds crippled by the sheer weight of their own hormone-ridden bodies try to walk, these things sicken me beyond any craving I might have. It infuriates me that other fast food corporations are willing to make the changes that address the most basic living conditions of the chickens, and yet KFC is resistant, while spinning a web of deceit for its customers to make them think they are concerned with animal welfare. I started this about 3 years ago, and I have slipped once that I can recall.

Wal-Mart. They are the epitome of everything that is wrong in America, in my opinion. As long as they are paragons of corporate greed, taking advantage of government subsidies while raking in billions, encouraging their workers to go on welfare rather than pay them decent wages, and importing a majority of their goods from countries where the workers are abused and underpaid except on inspection days, they remain at the top of my list. Yes, they are making some progress in presenting a "greener" image, and yes, they deserve some credit for that. But it will take a lot more than changing some light bulbs and printing their bazillion-page reports on recycled paper to counteract the years of abuses.

Exxon. Evil beyond comprehension. They continue to pay "scientists" to deny global warming. They are the only one of the Big Oil companies that remains in Arctic Power (a single-issue lobbying group), happy to drain ANWR of its precious resources, after BP, ConocoPhillips, and ChevronTexaco have dropped out. Exxon has also refused to pay any of the $4.5 billion in punitive damages it owes to fishermen, natives, and others affected by the 1989 Exxon-Valdez oil spill, despite posting record profits in recent years.

Shell Oil. This article really opened my eyes to the atrocities that Shell Oil has been part of. They have essentially bribed corrupt Nigerian government with loads of cash, taken the Nigerians' land and oil, importing American workers instead of willing & able natives, and are raping the land daily in the pursuit of the Almighty Dollar. 1n 1995, nine anti-Shell activists were sentenced to death by their government, and Shell later admitted to having given money to that same government.

Proctor & Gamble. As long as they are still mercilessly testing their products on animals and treating them like disposable litter, they will not get my money. The more I ponder animal testing, the more offended I am as a consumer. Ostensibly, they are testing for the safety of the consumer; however, if you think about it, that's totally false. They are not testing for long-lasting, truly dangerous and detrimental conditions that may be caused by their products, which are what we should be most concerned with; they are testing for short-term reactions (the shampoo burns when you put it in your eyes... use common sense, smart ones!) that are most likely to bring lawsuits against them. So, these tests are not done for our benefit, but to cover their asses.

Feel free to join me in boycotting these bastards and in signing petitions and writing letters to let them know why we are boycotting them.

NBA & NFL... role models or overpaid thugs?

(Yes, I'm aware that every blog and newspaper in America has probably already said all this or at least talked about it, but I'm throwing in my 10 cents worth.)

Once upon a time, professional sports players made a decent amount of money for playing phenomenally without the use of steroids, and the athletes were role models for kids. They had vices like smoking or chewing tobacco or drinking, vices that were self-destructive and made them human enough that parents could tell little Johnny that they were still good men, but that they were hurting themselves.

Skip forward a few decades, and professional sports players make absurd amounts of money for playing phenomenally, often with the help of illicit steroids, and the athletes are worthy of being role models for no one. They have vices like dogfighting or starving, kicking, and shooting dogs, vices that are vicious to others and make them sadistic enough that parents can't find the words to tell little Johnny why these men are still allowed to walk free among decent human beings.

What is it about the NFL and NBA now that seems to breed a callous attitude toward animals (and, oftentimes, other humans) in its players? When I started this post, I was thinking of Michael Vick's 18-page indictment for unspeakable things done to dogs on his property in Virginia. Now I'm thinking of Jonathan Babineaux, Ron Artest, Jayson Williams, along with many, many others. Not only are these athletes abusing the animals and people in their lives, some are being allowed to get away with proverbial slaps on the wrist by the leagues (cough...Babineaux...cough, cough), sending big messages to the kids that idolize them.

In case you missed the coverage of Jonathan Babineaux, he is the one arrested for beating his girlfriend's dog to death (but not killing it quickly, mind you, instead letting it suffer for hours) because he was mad at her after a fight. His girlfriend came home after a movie to find her dog dying, but Babineaux says he didn't have anything to do with it, even though he was the only one home with the dog. Riiiiiight.

Ron Artest was arrested for starving his female Great Dane, leaving the dogs for weeks at a time. He claims that his American bulldog was eating all the food; okay, Ron, but would you leave five toddlers, one of whom is known for aggressiveness, in the house alone for 3 weeks with fifty Happy Meals, telling them to sort out mealtimes for themselves? He claims that he had a dog-sitter that was mishandling the feedings; okay, Ron, is that why authorities had siezed your dogs at least three (and maybe six) times before for the same reason? Surprisingly, a month later he was also booked on spousal abuse charges. And, to ice his cake, in order to get a quote from him regarding his resulting seven-game suspension (seven whole games?), he had to be tracked down on a goodwill mission to Kenya. My favorite quote? ""I am doing many positive things this summer. ... [We] are holding HIV babies and walking around in the slums where kids have no running water or electricity and no shoes on their feet, feeding rice and beans to kids." What a piece of work.

And Jayson Williams? To me, he takes the all-in-one prize for stupidity and cruelty. Jayson Williams bet a teammate that he (the teammate) couldn't drag Williams's guard Rottweiler outside the house. When the teammate was smart enough to figure out that he could drag the dog pretty easily by its back legs, Williams shoots his own dog twice in the head with a shotgun, nearly decapitating it, and tells the teammate to get the fucking dog off his porch or he's next. Surprisingly, six months later, Williams was facing manslaughter charges when a limo driver died from a gunshot wound in his driveway bedroom; Williams denied having anything to do with the death, even though he was found to have staged (quite sloppily) the crime scene to appear as a suicide. We believe you, Jayson; that didn't make you look guilty (or stupid) at all!

Michael Vick, NFL's Golden Boy, should be hung out to dry. I am all for making an example of him. I am thrilled that all of his endorsement clients are bolting; sure, it is good PR for them, but it also sends a good message to all those kids who want to be Michael Vick when they grow up.

Ready to Fall?

Those of you who are regular readers (and even occasional readers) know that I delve into deep thoughts or long posts only on occasion, usually when something is bothering me. And today, I am very bothered. My teenage son has been telling me about this super-disturbing video. Curious to see what he finds disturbing (since he finds Jackass funny and I think that's pretty freakin' disturbing), I went to check it out; I knew I liked the band, I liked the song, why not? I am surely glad he finds it disturbing, but it is something I think everyone should see. It's quite the commentary on how we as a society have come to enjoy our "consumables" so much that we have turned a blind eye, and therefore condoned, what is done to get the final product. (Warning: Very graphic and disturbing images. Teenage daughter couldn't sit through the whole thing; she left in tears.)

"Ready to Fall" by Rise Against

Today is Memorial Day, a day to remember men & women who have lost their lives for our freedom. But I really would like to see us also start paying closer attention to our "companions" who have lost their lives (or maybe just their eyesight or the use of a limb) for our comfort, for "tears-free" shampoo and "hypo-allergenic" lotions and "new & improved" formulas.

Sometimes I can be quite the proverbial ostrich, burying my head in the sand when something is tough to take. But if everyone did that, I realized that nothing would get done about things like unnecessary animal testing and inhumane slaughter houses. I really believe that a society's ultimate goodness can be judged by how it treats its animals (an opinion I know has been shared by Gandhi, Mark Twain, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Leo Tolstoy, and Dr. Charles Mayo, to name a few). Is our society "ready to fall"? Morally, sometimes I think so.

One of the things I learned today is that Nalgene makes this evil contraption just for a test known as the Draize Eye Test. In the Draize eye test a substance is dropped into the eyes of a group of albino rabbits. The animals are often immobilized in stocks from which only their heads protrude. They usually receive no anesthesia during the tests. After placing the substance in the rabbits' eyes, technicians record the damage to the eye tissue at specific intervals over an average period of 72 hours, with tests sometimes lasting 7-18 days. Reactions to the substances include swollen eyelids, inflamed irises, ulceration, bleeding, massive deterioration, and blindness. During the tests, the rabbits' eyelids are held open with clips. Animals sometimes break their necks or backs as they struggle to escape. Technicians performing eye irritancy tests do not attempt to treat the rabbits or seek antidotes to the test substance, so the test cannot help lead to treatments for potential human injuries. No more Nalgene for me, my friend; never again. (We have a bunny, and I cannot even fathom the hardness or mindset required to treat one like that.)

The problem is that Nalgene is not the only "bad guy" here. There are plenty of companies that purchase and use these contraptions, and we are giving them our money. "Here, I bought some of your shampoo. Go burn somebunny's eyes out." Ummmm, that's logical, right? No, it's blind consumerism (or possibly callousness, because "this shampoo works better than any of the others.").

Dr. Albert Schweitzer said, "The quiet conscience is the invention of the devil. No one of us may permit any preventable pain to be inflicted even though the responsibility for that pain is not ours. No one may shut his eyes and think that the pain which is therefore not visible, is non-existent." He said it a lot better that I can, and he sounded a lot smarter, too. So... yeah, what he said!

This is not supposed to be a hypocritical rant to make anyone feel any guiltier than I do. It's more like a plea to take an extra 5 minutes to take a look at this list or this guide before going out to buy cleaning products or shampoo or cosmetics. I know I will think a little harder and shop a little smarter.

Pork Politics

Okay, folks, if this Rolling Stone article doesn't motivate you to find a local farm from which to buy your meat, you're either depraved, deficient, or dilatory . Five pages, but worth every moment of your time.

I think I want veggie pizza or pasta for dinner tonight. I'm truly ill.

(Update: We had gingerbread pancakes. No meat, especially no bacon.)