Sunday Scribblings--Teeth

When I saw that today's writing prompt was Sleep (and/or Teeth), I thought, "Cake. I can write about my improbable, impractical, and inexplicable sleeping habits or my horrific, terrifying dreams and how good I am at deciphering their meaning." But then I convinced myself to tackle teeth instead, just to stretch my wings a bit.

We have a total of 151 teeth in our collective heads; three of us had to have teeth pulled in order to facilitate orthodontics. Three-fifths of us are currently in braces, two sets of traditional labial braces and one set of lingual braces (I was ahead of the trend, having had braces eight years ago, and Eldest flew through her braces experience). Three-fifths of us have had our wisdom teeth removed.

I had eight teeth pulled before braces (four regular molars, four wisdom teeth). Genetically speaking, I got screwed over in the teeth department; my father was in full dentures by the age of 29, and my mother also passed on her family's periodontal disease. Consequently, four of my teeth are in line to have implants in the future (my husband has vociferously declared that he will stop at nothing to ensure that he never sees me without teeth); I wear a permanent retainer behind them. When I had a root canal performed several years back, the oral surgeon told me I have problematic teeth; some of my molars have up to four roots, and the roots are long, branching, and some are spiraled. I'm a dental mutant.

Eldest was only in braces for fourteen months because she was so good about wearing elastics on her teeth. She just had her wisdom teeth removed yesterday; she has cute chipmunk cheeks today.

Youngest's lack of executive function means that many times, he would rather give up every privilege he has than to drag himself to the sink for two minutes to brush his teeth. It drives me absolutely fucking nuts. We've tried rewards, bribery, and threats to life & limb, all to no avail. My prediction is that we will have to have the braces removed from his teeth. He had to have three teeth pulled before his braces.

Middle will have braces on his teeth for five years at the rate he (doesn't) wear his elastics. He had to have two teeth pulled before his braces.

My husband has an artificial tooth. As a child, he was playing "golf" with his brother. For some stupid-ass unknown reason, hubby laid down on the floor to "eye" his brother's shot. His brother's shot, as it turns out, was directly in line with hubby's mouth, knocking his front tooth down his throat. Heh.

We pay a lot for our 151 teeth, monetarily, physically, and emotionally. I never really thought about how much dental drama we have endured. We could do a whole reality show about my family's dental issues. I'm totally serious; I'm calling A&E or DHC right now.

Comments

[Tumblewords]

Interesting, revealing and well-written. Nicely done - loved the read!