Family Circus

Yesterday, I read an update on the Duggar family. In case you've never heard of them (and you don't follow links in my posts), Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are 8 months pregnant... with Kid #17! They used birth control for four years, had their first child, then resumed The Pill. They got pregnant again, & she miscarried; blaming it on The Pill, they asked God to forgive them, and promised they would accept as many children as He saw fit to give them; they certainly now have a quiver full. They live in Arkansas in a 7000 sq. ft. home, built by Jim Bob & the boys, debt free. Both Jim Bob & Michelle are real estate agents, and Jim Bob was a House Representative for Arkansas from 1998-2003.

Please realize, there are certainly some things that I really admire about these people. They own 9 vehicles and a 7000 sq. ft. home, all paid for in full with cash; they are debt-free (their previous home had all of 2200 sq. ft. for 18 of them). They run their household on about $5000 per month. (Granted, this is a figure from 2006, when the currently in-utero Jennifer Danielle was only a sparkle in Jim Bob's eye, so it may be a little more now.) They buy almost all of their clothing from thrift stores or eBay (although they will spend $70-$80 for each girl for Wholesome swimsuits). Plus, their website was created on a Mac; they automatically get points for wise computing choices.

All the good things aside, though, I can't help but be really miffed at their choice to populate a small country of resource consumers (maybe that miscarriage was God telling them that one kid was enough). While some of us are doing all sorts of things to reduce our footprint, here come the nineteen Duggars; nothing about a 19-member household's environmental footprint can be small. Although they were all paid for with cash, they still own 9 vehicles (not one of them is a Prius). Yes, they buy their clothes from thrift stores, I get the distinct feeling from articles and Discovery Channel specials that it's more from monetary frugality than concern for the environment. They wash more than 60 loads of laundry a week! Doing the math, that's 3 loads per person, per week; that's upwards of 10 loads each day (assuming, since they are so religious, that they won't do laundry on the Lord's Day)... more than I do each week. There are 4 times the number of people in their household, but somehow they manage 6 times more laundry; I'm not sure how that works.

Maybe I'm just grumpy from lack of sleep last night, or maybe I'm channeling my inner Andy Rooney, but this just twists my knickers a little. Michelle Duggar has been pregnant for a total of 133 months, the equivalent of six elephant gestations; I think six elephants might tread lighter on the earth.

Comments

[A]

I wrote about the impact of having children on the environment in my blog a few months ago -- the responses were interesting
http://delicatetbone.livejournal.com/544175.html

[Mido]

I saw a special on the discovery channel about this family at my parent's home (as I don't currently or plan to have a t.v. again)...it was just so depressing to be sitting there and contemplating these people's carbon footprint. Sure, they can take care of these kids now, but what would happen if there was a severe economic depression? With a new baby, that's at least 18 years of obligative care for these kids...what's to say will happen in those years with our environment?

Also, these kids have grown up with this kind of lifestyle, and not to begrude anyone living how they want, but maybe the kids will want to raise 19+ membered families too. That's going to be crazy.

I think if they are so open hearted to children, they could have considered adoption as another form of helping God's will. Of course, if they are into the "quiverfull" rage then I guess that wouldn't be applicable...

I am only a college student now, but if I ever decide to have kids, I want to only have one child of my own genes (if at all) and for any other children I have to be adopted.

I really want to interview these people on what they think global warming is...

Thanks for posting on this (as it is very interesting to see the extremes of things). I hope your bug problem is fixed in your house! (Uh, I am a lurker...I found you via Greenasathistle).

[abby]

I have watched them on TV and it's pretty fascinating . . . their family does run like a machine and while they want to do what's right by god, I think there should be some sense of not doing things to excess. If they really felt it was the right thing to have all those kids, which they obviously did, then they could consider being more conservative in other areas: all that laundry, perhaps? Or modifying their diets - in their recipe section of their webpage, I couldn't help but notice they use a lot of ground meat and processed foods.

Despite all of the good things they stand for, I can't help but think they have been a little presumptuous . . . like the world should laud them for doing what they do - and allow them to create such a footprint because of the bigger picture. I wish part of their very regimented days involved conservation - and not just for monetary reasons, because isn't doing what's good for the planet also something supported by god?

[abby]

p.s. love your blog :)

[Dawn]

Well believe it or not..the world and "Mother Nature" will continue to decompose and destroy our Earth, so to be honest, nothing we do, no matter what type of car we drive, no matter if we recycle every little thing, etc, is going to "make this world a better place".
We can't stop global warming, torandos, hurricanes, droughts, etc.
So, the Duggar family is having another baby! Praise God! At least they are still married, in love, serving God, and happy!
The blog world is all hyped up and starking mad at the Duggars as if they are some evil people that should quit having children because of overpopulation (myth) and because of all the starving children around the world. Well not having any children or limiting the number of blessings God can give you isn't going to stop the choas of this world.
Everyone keeps saying "if they want more children, why don't they adopt". Well the question can also go right back to the people who asked. How many children have they adopted? The Duggars are still young, they may adopt a child or two in time but to sit there and point fingers is stupid. God has blessed Michelle with the gift of fertility and instead of suppressing it with a pill or shot, she chose to obey God and His Word. And look how blessed that family is!
Bloggers say that the Duggars are taking up the Earth's resources...ummm hello....how about all the unwed teenage moms out there with 3 children. 17 and 18 year old girls are getting pregnant and having babies every day, but no one says anything about them using up "resources".
Also the Duggars don't think in the terms "I want". We live in a very selfish society where it seems we only think of ourselves and our wants and needs. As Christians, the Duggars left their fertility in the hands of Almighty God. Very unheard of in this day and age, I know.
Not all Quiverfull families have alot of children. Some have 2 or 3...it's about trusting the Lord with evetything in our lives, including fertility.
Pregnancy is not a disease, it shouldn't be treated like one with a Pill or shot.

P.S. The media first came to the Duggars several years ago and wanted to do a show on them and what not. They didn't seek the media. But I am glad they did because at least finally something good is portrayed on television rather than unmarried men and women sleeping around, cursing, drinking, and what not.
Also remember what we see on TLC or Discovery Health Channel has probably been edited to fit the time slot, so I am sure there is alot we don't know what goes on with the Duggar household. But that's alright. Just pray for them. :)

[Blue Like the Sky]

What sticks in my craw about the quiverfull movement? If you dig, dig, dig into the roots of the movement you'll find that it's not about god's blessings at all, not to the leaders. It's about growing "soldiers for god," i.e. VOTERS for a theocratic agenda. I'm willing to respect people, Roman Catholics, for example who are uncomfortable with artifical contraception. But turning women into brood mares is another thing altogether.

[Vanessa]

Word, Lori -- people like this drive me crazy, being all selective about what God does or doesn't approve of in their lives, justifying a billion kids because of one miscarriage... ugh. 17 kids is seriously my idea of a nightmare!

[Jennifer]

If you ppl are so worried abt leaving 'carbon footprints' on this earth, maybe YOU should end YOUR life. That would help lessen the damage done to earth, right??? As for some of us, we ARE going to accept our children for what they are, BLESSINGS FROM GOD, the Creator of this earth. The earth and EVERYTHING in it,(including you) is God's anyway! He will take care of what is HIS! ****By the way, they are not having a billion kids! If you knew your history, you would know that it used to be common to have large families. You yourself are most likely offspring of one, just research your family tree...and if you are happy to be alive, thank your great-great-great grandparents for letting God give them children. Because of that, you live!****

[Blue Like the Sky]

Wow...that's some compassionate religiosity there! I guess in your faith either suicide is not a sin or it's okay to wish an occasion of sin on another.

Peace.

[Lori V.]

Compassionate religiosity... I know, right? I also love the tail-chasing logic where: "The earth and EVERYTHING in it,(including you) is God's anyway! He will take care of what is HIS!" I belong to God, and He will take care of what is HIS, but I'm supposed to go kill myself... hmmm... how does that work again?

[Jennifer]

Well...you are missing the point I'm trying to make---if you are so concerned abt this earth, & that there are too many ppl being born, you obviously don't believe there is a God controlling everything. You are saying that there are too many ppl living here, so if you truly believe that, then why not start with your life, instead of placing blame on other ppl's lives for damaging the earth, when your own life is doing the exact same thing!(I don't believe anyone's lives are damaging to the earth.) Who gives us the right to say who should be born & who shouldn't. No, I personally don't want you to end your life, but, don't go saying other ppl shouldn't be born either. I know the Duggar family personally, and their children are happy to be born!

[Lori V.]

And the question I'm trying to ask is: If God wants someone to have 17 babies, I'm pretty sure He could say, "Birth control, schmirth control... here's you a baby anyway!" (Happened to me!) If 23 kids are His will, 23 kids would come out no matter what they did to try to avoid it (I mean, look at Mary, right?). If we continue to follow your logic, we could all go out and start smoking and doing crack, because, after all, when God says it's our time, it's our time. Nothing we can do can stop it, and we would simply be leaving our entire health in God's hands.

Look, I know their children are happy to be born. And if God plants them a little fetus in spite of birth control, go for it. But avoiding a pregnancy in the first place is not the same as saying that that a particular child shouldn't be born (as could be argued about abortion). A twinkle in Dad's eye named Jeremy is NOT a person yet.

[Blue Like the Sky]

I hate to stir the pot any more than it's already stirred, but I'm still hanging up on some inconsistencies in the whole "anti-choice" (I refuse to call it "right-to-life")/quiverfull thing.

Why is it OK (i.e. consistent with God being in charge of things)to put more babies than God ever designed a woman to carry INTO a uterus via assisted reproductive technology but not to take one out when something has gone terribly, terribly wrong (anencephaly (sp) or the mother's imminent death)?

I've heard folks say, "God gave us the ability to use our brains to come up with these medical breakthroughs." But what about the science that lets us save women's lives? Or that can detect a birth defect early enough so that only one life is lost, via termination, rather than two, as happens when a woman and her child die in a delivery that is impossible?

I wish people would just come right out and say things like "We want to have a lot of babies, so we're going to, one way (via lots of unprotected sex) or another (in vitro, gamete donation, surrogacy, etc). Having lots of kids is consistent with our religious beliefs, and so we're going to use every method available to make sure it happens."

[Jennifer]

It all depends on how you view children, do you truly accept them as blessings from God?? If someone offers you a million dollars, and you refuse, you would be called crazy, right? That would be a 'blessing' in your life. But on the other hand, God is wanting to send us children (God calls them blessings) and we are trying to refuse them. (One child is worth more than the world, I'm sure you'd agree if you have a child, you wouldn't give them up for nothing...) God must be hurt (as would the person offering you the $$) that we don't want His blessings.
It all depends on whether or not you believe GOD is Supreme and governs our lives, and that our lives are safe in His hands.
Yes, I know that God can send a child, regardless of BC, it happened to my mom before she realized children were God's blessings to her...(She now has 8, I'm the oldest & the youngest is 1&1/2- my daughter is 9 months younger than her uncle!!)(Not everyone who trusts God is going to have 17+ children!!)
Also, for the record, I don't believe that vitro, surrogacy, etc. is right either. If we are going to trust God with our lives, then yes, that means trusting Him, even if he doesn't send us children. (Which would be very difficult, I can't imagine not having children) The key here is that: We are trying to trust God with every area of our lives. No its not always easy, I'll admit that, but just to think that God loves us so much, He will do whats best for us, even tho we may not (we usually don't) understand.
About 'terminating' one life to save another...Many docters have been wrong on that and all persons involved lived. Whats wrong with letting God decide what happens and if one dies, then that is what is meant to be. Do we (us humans) really think that we are smarter than God, to pick & choose who lives & who dies?? I'd rather trust God than the docters, sorry!! Its all about trusting God...
I understand its hard. I just lost a baby a few weeks ago, due to miscarriage. Yes, I asked God why, but in the end, He gave me a peace, that was what was His plan for me. I tell you what tho, it sure gave me a new thankfulness for life & my 9 month daughter. I will probably never know 'why' on this earth, but I have a peace, my life is in His hands.
Oh, and if you think that I am trying to act like I'm all perfect in my 'christian life', I will be the first to tell you I'm NOT. We ALL have day-to-day struggles, just like everyone else in this world, no one is perfect, only God!!

[Blue Like the Sky]

First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss, Jennifer and I'm glad you have found peace.

It does come down to belief systems.

I find it difficult to reconcile the following two statements from some believers:

1. God is omnipotent.
2. I know what God wants.

If you believe #2, aren't you being awfully presumptous? Even "God-like?" #2 does not strike me as a statement that rises from the humility that Christ advised his followers to assume.

A friend of mine, who is a very wise Presbyterian minister, once told me that we can never presume to know the will of God. In fact, "I don't know" is an honest statement of faith. "I don't know" does not equal "I do not believe."

Perhaps a good way to go is not to condemn others who believe differently but leave the judgments to God if you chose to believe in him or her.